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The Washington Post annually publishes a contest for readers in which they are asked to supply alternative definitions for various existing words. This year's list is no disappointment. The following were some of the winning entries in this year's contest: 1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon. 2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained. 3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all of ever having a flat stomach. 4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. 5. nilly (adj.), impotent. 6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown. 7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. 8. Gargoyle (n.), an flavored mouthwash. 9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. 10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline. 11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. 12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you. 13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish _expressions. 14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts. 15. Pokemon (n.), A Jamaican proctologist. sex on the side Scottsdale
We were both just down with the stomach flu. Woke up simutaneously at 4am Monday night sick and puking. He in the bathroom I ran into the kitchen. DH comes into the kitchen as I was still in the throws of it and starts talking away saying: "WOW! we are BOTH sick at the SAME EXACT TIME! Isnt that crazy? Blah Blah Blah " He is just going on and on as I struggle to breathe I say : "Can you please.. not..talk" He says lovingly "Aww sure -" then carefully tucks my hair into my shirt, rubs my back as I continue to puke.. then (because all I had on was a shirt and panties) proceeds to rubb my ass!! And was getting really into it!! Saying how much he loves me.. He ended up running back into the bathroom to puke but its moments like those where I really have to wonder about the fella.. mature sex dating omahaAll the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge. "I should be in charge," said the, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen." "I should be in charge," said the blood, "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away." "I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy." "I should be in charge," said the legs , "because I the body wherever it needs to go." "I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to where it goes." "I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal." All the other body parts laughed at the rectum And insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss. The Moral of the story? Even though the others do all the work The asshole is always in charge. local free dating sites
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exercise must be going to a gym. eating must be sacrificing the taste for low fat, low sugar, low everything food. but the thing is any rigorous physical activity is exercise, including sex. any food that makes you feel good in a run is good for you(we're not talking short term high ofa dsoughnut, we're talking things that settle your stomach, give you energy, etc). and some foods that are supposed to be can be bad for you. For instance my SO cannot eat brocoli it always gives him stomach aches. i don't care how nutrients broccoli has constant stomach aches are not heathy. so the point is you find what works for you, not what's concidered to be a guidline. for you its dancing. sex chat rooms in Yoncalla Oregon senior swingers Hite Utah
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