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most of the feedback has made me very aware of the overall view on this issue. I definitely feel there are limitations to trying to discuss things on here,but nevertheless I did post. I think people confuse my feeling attracted to this woman and my actually acting on it. Having put this info out on a forum I knew I was taking a that I might encounter strong, negative, even hostile, scary stuff. Nevertheless, writing here has clarified for me a couple of things. I am confused,conflicted, uncomfortable, and uncertain with the whole thing or I wouldn't be asking opinions etc. When I feel that way about things I don't go out and act on it, I need to figure out what is going on. I have no interest in hurting or exploiting anyone. Especially this woman and as a result my friend, her mother. The daughter be going back to university in 3 weeks. These emotions fizzle out. I have often been attracted to other women who for whatever reason are not available. In a sense this is the same, only far MORE complicated too much potential for disaster. The reality is that if I ever did act on these feelings, the consequences would be negative and unhealthy for everyone concerned. I would lose far more than I would gain. I might get a passionate moment and that's about it. I do NOT want to cause problems for this woman or my friend. So I am not just thinking of what I want or need. I am looking at what the consequences of my behaviour would be IF I did choose to act on these feelings. Seems more rooted in fantasy than reality now. I guess I just need to work on forgetting about her "that way". sweetwater looking for real ongoing fwbWife and I met when we were 16. Been together mostly on, then off, through our teens. That was the early 80s. Things were very passionate. Mostly because we were in our teens. During our early 20s, we were commmitted to each other. Married at 26. Kid 1 at 30, then kid 2 at age 35. Things change significantly during this period. Neither of us are the same person we were at age 16 or at 20. At a cerebral level, we both knew that men and women think very differently. But neither of us took this to heart until a couple years ago. We're now in our mid 40s. Here's my take from my experience. Stop trying to convince him that you both need counseling for "your relationship." That only lead to arguments and debate as to what is "best for the relationship." Instead, tell him that YOU want him to go to counseling with you. You tell him that there is no point in arguing about this, because it's no longer an issue about who is right/wrong. You are tired and his agreeing to go to counseling with you show that he has respect for you, your feelings, and your opinion. Again, do not debate this. Simply tell him that it would mean a great deal to YOU. You are asking for a favor a gift. If he loves you, he do this for you regardless of whether he thinks it work. If he says no, then you need to look at plan D. all free dating
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