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My LTR started having depression issues the last several months. I tried to get him to seek help, but he blew off my concerns. I saw that he was drinking about a fifth of vodka a week, on top of a sleeping pill at night. He has sleep apnea; that is how this self medication of vodka came to my attention. It's a very risky combination. I asked him to stop, then I pleaded with him to stop. I found free clinics for him to go to, but he would not follow up. He was emotionally volatile, his sleep was horrible, he was always exhausted and on top of everything, he lied to me about his drinking. He finally admitted that he was drinking a fifth or more of vodka a week for about a year, and lied to me about it because he was afraid he would lose me. I remember how confused I was, because when I would talk to him on the phone at night, he was be somewhat slurry and more importantly emotionally up and down. He would post stupid things full of self pity or rudeness, always after 11. But again, denial, so I was intensely confused. Fast forward, I finally broke it off with him two months ago. He has spent the entire time trying to "win" me back, which I really dislike. I asked him not to try to "win" me back, but to take care of himself. Finally he began to admit this problems and started talking to friends besides just me, which is a big load off of my shoulders. Now, he has stopped drinking for about 3 weeks, he is on an anti-depressant for about 10 days. Today he is going to a therapist. Now, he says to me, "I am doing all the right things, let's get back together". I say it's too -; I have lost trust. He gets angry at me when i say i have lost trust and says that if we don't get back together, he lose the spark and for me. I guess I feel that ever since I broke if off with he has been guilting me. I wish I could trust, but damn, it took such a dramatic move on my part to get his attention, I am kind of burned out. So, here is my dilemma. I loved and still this, and wonder if depression caused such a change or not. I want us to work, but I just have to give it time. We are totally platonic right now, because I don't want to give mixed messages and also don't want to mess with my emotions. We have been together 4 years, but 2 of those years was a distance relationship. Any advise would be appreciated. looking for peopleOnly you can make these decisions. There is no. You must trust your intuition. Your daughter is not a statistic. One statistic she might repeat is becoming involved with abusive or alcoholic men. I am not blaming you. people get married and the spouses change for the worse. Your daughter might blame you as a teen or adult if you allow her to be around a deviant human being. You can have positive male role models in her life relatives or teachers. A good therapist or mental health counselor is not going to tell you the answers unless you face eminent danger. threatening suicide. It might take prison for him to change his life. He is ultimately not your concern. You must live for your daughter. OMG, I hate being an adult too sometimes. We all do. You are human. I am sorry you do not have your mother. My heart tells you that you already have the solutions. older women xxx
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