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40 ish looking for Ladies, may I have your advice? First off, sorry for abusing the categories here. Now, here's what's happening with me: I have a girlfriend. She's really nice (most of the time) and great overall and I love her.. but I do not want to be with her much longer. She has problems, some that can or may be fixed in the future, and some that never will be (mentally related, turns her into someone completely different sometimes) and honestly, I don't feel I can take it any more. It has put so much stress on the relationship lately, it feels like a downward spiral and I kind of want to give up on it and find someone else. I know, I know, that makes me sound like an asshole, and maybe I am. It's just that I'm not getting any younger and I don't want to end up like my uncle, who has devoted the rest of his life to taking care of his mysteriously sick wife. Ten years counting, and that's how it will be until the day she dies. My girl loves me very much, and if I leave her she will be devastated, which I really would rather not do. I am the first guy she has been in a serious relationship with. (She came from the bay area where there are only two types of men: those who like men and scumbags, so a long term relationship with a man was never a big priority until she came here.) I posted recently in men seeking women, talked to a girl for a few days (and rightly felt like an asshole for doing so) but no further than that. In the mean time, I am continuing to tell her I love her (I do, just not in the same way anymore?) and live with her. One main reason I'm not breaking up with her is because I just lost my job over a BS error at work and am not sure where I would go since I can't pay rent. The thought that I'm using her for free housing makes me feel like an even bigger asshole! Not that's the ONLY reason I'm still here, it's just one factor.
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Its being aware there is a problem. HAVE YOU TOLD HIM? If not, you need to and clear up boundries for the both of you. Its not fair for either of you to think something is okay when its not. If yes you have talked and it continues and bothers you, don't thinking it get better. This is the honeymoon stage. Probably as good as it ever be. Lies/half-truths/omissions, about something so sensitive as potential cheating or inappropriate behavior, has already hurt your trust- you are here posting about your unease. Trust yourself. Trust you gut. And if he is not honest about them, or his relationship with them, why do you think he would not lie about any sex? Male ego or not, you need to trust him, and you don't. 'Nuff said. Are you afraid to lay it out, even if it leads to an argument? Can you take action, not issue threats, but the consequences of non action on your part? he's okay with it as it is. If he wasn't, he would not be doing this. It continue. Make sure you be okay with this. Are you? for the next 40-50 years? do you like white men i love latin women
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