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out of towner looking for fun I'm always astounded by the number of folks who seem to have as their relationship centerpiece, strict sexual fidelity. It gets to be so important, that sometimes I think it is seen more as ownership of another as opposed to relationship with another. It follows that they make objects of each other, and frequently expend their life energies with surveillance to enforce a list of rules and boundaries on each other, that frequently are counter to the species' instincts and they do it aggressively quite willing to take harsh, and even violent attacks as they dole out punishments. To me, not infrequently, it smacks of folly. There are so cultures around the world which affection and sexual activity as just good fun. They seem to community and each other as "us" and never objects. They share their food, home, and the like and they frequently have no games with winners and losers. They tend to have no fights, no bullies, and no victims. It is to our USA culture, impossible. But I've seen it work just fine. Sexual behavior is moral, not ethical. Ethics change very little both by generation and cross cultural. Morals, however, have wide variations, change over time, and are far less important than ethics. With that said, the bottom line is that even ethics are contingent upon situation. One last consideration = the "principle" of it. I'm gonna guess that in my lifetime (75), around the world, perhaps million human beings have been killed, by other human beings, over the principle of it. If that's not folly, I don't know what would be. Estes Park Colorado mature amateurs looking
to get a handle on. You can't very well expect someone to put themselves under YOUR control if it's evident that YOU can't control YOURself. Good on you for recognizing this. Getting 'carried away' is really easy to do and fighting that actually runs counter to a positive characteristic of good dominants the ability to be spontaneous in scene. So there's a balance to be struck. What I would suggest if you feel like you're being 'overly spontaneous' (getting carried away too often) is to literally write our a script for the scene. You can share it with her (or not) if you like, but the idea is that you have a list of activities you wish to accomplish. You can even make it a roleplay activity if you like (tell her you're shooting a porno) and that the script MUST be followed, and that her performance be evaluated. But the key is that after you're satisfied that a particular activity has been sufficiently explored, you GO BACK TO THE SCRIPT for the next activity. If she does particularly well with an activity, you can give her a brief reward (I like a quick two-fingered orgasm) between activities, but always go back to the script. Experience eventually allow you to discard a script and allow you to play more spontaneously. But in the meantime, you're gathering information on what works (and doesn't) with her and can use that to inform your next script writing exercize. fuk blind daters 21801
from academia and people looking at history prior to the modern definition of homosexuality and trying to claim a history and understand the and bi people who made so contributions. People get in to all sorts of arguments constructivist or essentialist, whether affection counted or only sexual activity counted etc. It's a fun topic with dead people but living people get to decide what they want to be ed. Personally I like to myself bi. A project I did was written about in a small article in a national publication. If you look through their archives it's one of the few positive mentions of bisexuality and the only article about a specific bi person. All the other articles were about "party bisexuals" and HIV transmission. seeking a sexy women tonight for play timeis part of the whole wonderful bath house experience. Everyone's there for sex and the freedom of expression that comes with that. If someone overtly asks for your hand in an activity you don't wish to engage, just say no thanks and keep on moving. I always at members of the gays who seem, generation after generation, to have an initial instinct for cruelty toward one another, and that, in a venue designed specifiy for the purpose of sexual expression. For me the world is a filthy and cruel enough place without adding more to it. Kindly say no and move on. Count your blessings that anyone finds you attractive enough to solict you. adult personals
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