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a few mute points. Knowing that he is cheating vs. having a feeling in your gut comes from two different avenues. But digging 'to find evidence' just isn't the answer. I agree it is always best to keep your eyes and ears open because things do pop up. But invading into anothers privacy is just (imho) going to far. Time always tells the tale. You don't know how your life is going to turn out.."hence, your 'I'll be damned if I am one of those 40 or 50 year olds etc." I am one of those people. My first marriage was 18 years. I never pried and consequently, I was the last to know. But I can also keep my head held high and say I trusted him to the end. (Funny as in sic. thing about it is I still trust my first husband far more than my current one.) Once burned, twice shy, I guess. I am dealing with husband #2 (should I say possible stbx2) but on my own time. I don't need to pry and catch him because unfortunately, I figured it out a while back. Again I never dug around I prefered to believe in honesty first. Perhaps, if I had done some diggining, I wouldn't be where I am now. Lesson learned? Possibly. But again, I am old school and not apt to change. His mail, his phone, his s are all his turf. However, I have caught him opening/reading my mail and shuffling through my phone and I have nothing to hide. (Well, I guess I do..if that includes ing a lawyer.) Olympia women lonely
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