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Genetic control is the only explanation I can come up with for the existence of the testicular endowments men are awarded with. What other reason could exist (outside of perfectly sensible medical reasons which we are not addressing in this silly message) to take a relatively vital part of the human reproductive cycle, place it in a thinly-skinned sack, and then lower said sack down into a vulnerable part of the anatomy? And not just a vulnerable part, but a part which immediately invokes a set of ideas similar to those experienced when viewing such things as tetherballs or pendulums. That is, the idea that "hey, I wonder just how much I can make this thing swing if I push it really hard." Which, when placed next to the essential aspects of retaining at least one functioning testicle for the sake of procreation, makes slapping the sack a rather poor proposition for continued human survival? Nope. They're there so that anyone who is foolish enough to lose 'em can't infect the rest of us. Obviously. ;) hot tub is ready
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