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boundaries plays a big role. However, if I can't have my boys in my life, then it's a personal boundary I'm going to cross and he needs to deal or move on. But he'll know this before hand. It's crazy because we have a myriad of posters on here. Some people are like "OMG he has a female friend, heaven forbid" and the others are like "OMG I'm newly single and need to move out and have no outside support" And sometimes, I wonder if these two diff posters could one day potentially be the SAME poster.. When people talk about being newly single and having no life and being miserable and having to move out and having no family or friend support I don't normally sympathize. Because I'm almost % sure these are the SAME people who one day, years ago, posted that she/he and their SO didn't need anybody and didn't friendships on their own..they complained about their SO's having friends, and felt that fostering relationships outside of the marriage/relationship was emotional cheating.. Get what I"m saying? Eagleville Tennessee girls who fuckcan a woman who has had a 'not-so-great/non-existant' relationship with her mother still create a lesbian relationship with another woman? i'm afraid i'll either pick someone like 'Mother' or maybe even end up acting like her. therapist seem to suggest that i need to take my place in the family hierarchy whether or not the woman at the top is accountable for her behavior, past/present. i feel like keeping my distance from unaccountable people even if they're relatives, and especially if they feel entitled to the top spot in the hierarchy without assuming leadership and accountability on the matter of emotional and psychological. it's not exactly like i feel safe knowing my needs in such a relationship are not likely to be met why even put myself in a position to have to "ask mommy" to meet my needs in relationship (as appears to be the "therapeutic" route: "relationships with our mothers are so -") when this real person has given no indication of interest in creating an open, direct and honest relationship? when what she appears to want is respect for her position of authority alone and that it is i who am accountable to her? i'd rather spend my time and energy creating relationships with people who are intentionally interested in such things but it's tough to make a decision to set that boundary with her so far out like she is just another person I know, and one I don't happen to want a close relationship with anybody been there? i appreciate your feedback if you have any looking for a life time relationship
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