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1. if he was ORDERED to go to counseling, just mention that you think it is important and that you follow up with contempt charges. if he still doesn't listen, ask your lawyer to send him something in the mail so he get the picture. otherwise, if you don't hold him accountable, it does you no good to get into forum discussions. we can't help you enforce a court order 2. women are prone to exaggerate issues with their husband/ex. his behavior might bother you, but you are much more likely to look for problems and blow them out of proportion because you are divorced now. just look at the language you use: "not one bit of attention", "the damage he is doing is devastating". other divorced women rally to your cause, but keep in mind that professionals, lawyers, judges, and the civilized world in general is not going to take you seriously when you talk like this. next time, try saying it like this: "I am divorced. Obviously, that can be difficult, we are both of us hurting, as well as the. My ex seems to be ignoring the when they visit, I wonder if maybe he is going through difficulties that make it hard for him to give them his full attention. Anyway, how can I encourage him to interact with the, which they need and?" that sounds better now doesn't it? 3. the boys spent the day playing with someone in their age group. what is the problem here? ARE SUPPOSED TO PLAY WITH OTHER. again, you are looking for problems. you don't like that he has a girlfriend, but it do you and the a lot of good if you could just GET OVER IT. 4. "the damage he is doing ." No. You married and then divorced. The damage is already done. Take a look at your new situation and learn to adjust. My suggestion? Talk to the father. If that doesn't work, then throw your arms up in the air, because you are out of options. Your situation isn't exactly the kind of material that's going to be dramatized in a made-for-tv movie. Be thankful that you have a pair of breasts, becuase that fact, more than anything your lawyer did, has earned you the position of "primary caregiver", and has resulted in you seeing your for the overwhelming majority of their years growing up. Santa Rosa Beach girls having hot sex"kind." He got off easy WAY easier than the laws would have dictated..and let's face it women didn't put those laws on the books. I spent the last 13 years cow-towing to his every last need exactly the way he wanted it in fact, he would bitch and whine if it wasn't all about him. He cut me down in front of the, told the (mostly the step) that he was the "boss" etc. I pointed this double-speak out to him, we went to numerous therapists, etc. Nothing worked. All I asked is that if he was insistent on behaving this way that he MUST be home at all times when the step is home so that there is consistency. Guess what he said? He said .NO. He was too busy. Not with work to support our family with his HOBBIES. He wanted me to always be at home it was safer for him that way. In fact, he has admitted that times to outside people (who tell me and feel sorry for him). Once he saw that I wasn't going to be the "girl in the corner" for life he got right busy. Regardless I had a bigger picture in mind the one where the were secure and calm. I think I have accomplished that. I feel bad for him. He doesn't deserve it but I do. married and flirting chat
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