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here's the up to the minute truth. i sent him an this afternoon (in response to his latest of flurry of wanting to rehash all of his grievances, tell me how much he loves me and hint at maybe coming back) where i basiy told him why i him and have felt confident about our, but that i was going to move on since he left me, but if he could get clear on what he wants and agree to counseling, he knew where to find me and perhaps, if i were still available and still had feelings for him blah blah blah. when i wrote the, it felt like i was being sort of vulnerable and stating my truth, but after i sent it, i felt sort of angry, and like you said that its maybe time to shut the door all the way on this no matter what. i know the part of me that's holding on is afraid he come around/change/be able to offer me all the great that i want (that he often is) and i have missed it because i shut the door. im really torn between thinking it doesn't harm me to say, you can reach out if you get your mind right, maybe ill still be here and saying done and done. which likely eventually lead to him reaching out and saying all the right things and ill have to just assume i cant trust him. he's not a sleeze or a d-bag. he knows he's conflicted and he knows he has to reconcile the part of him that wants to go and the part that wants to stay. i guess the fear is what i outlined above, that ill say no more forever and out on the of my life. its especially hard because he's so wonderful for much of the time, until he shuts down and runs away. it's just not cut and dry at least not to me. discreet mature Mesquita
easy to do as possible, cleaning wise. It require spending some money/time but it be worth it for your collective sanity. Get the large load, high efficiency, washer/dryer. Get a dishwasher if you don't already have one. Get the swiffer or awesome duster if she's still using a mop or rag. Buy her an awesome vacuum that actually works (I my Dyson, never thought I'd say I loved a vacuum) By some hooks for hanging things in the kitchen, coat area, closets. Get some space organizers, bins, color coded materials and read up on how best to manipulate your space. Take her shopping for the best cleaners and tools she'll need, find out what the professional cleaning services use. Having the right stuff makes cleaning a lot less painful and time consuming. Once you have everything, sit down and work out a cleaning schedule. Go over how often everything needs to get done. Whatever you agree on, make sure you BOTH think it's reasonable. Tell her that whatever she doesn't do during the day, you do when you get home. Then follow through. Start setting some standards that you want to be regular habits. Like cleaning up after dinner and having everything put away so you don't have to wake up to a mess every morning. That should be A FAMILY responsibility. If you set that example enough, recruit help along the way, it become a habit for every one. It take time though. You are the Dad, your leadership is vital.. It is a standing, on going agreement in our house that if one of us is doing chores so is the other one. That way we all get to spend family time together that much sooner.. Once in a while, offer to pay to have a maid come (you might have to put your money where your mouth is), just the fact that my husband offers once in a blue, makes me him even more and gets me to want to clean when I don't feel like it because I know he cares about how I feel. cute guy looking to give headif I'd be willing to consider a return it's a money game more than anything, but I did it there and wouldn't have left if they had been able to offer me a competitive counter when I took the job I'm in now divorce for men
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