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on guaranteed safety of a. im still confused what the problem is, sounds like its in the bag. my is two years old and still hasnt ever been tucked in at night by any male unsupervised. im probably a paranoid parent but i also havent known for six years either so our situations are different. also havent allowed any to be with unsupervised. this is to say i can empathize with both the OP and with the father. sadly if people want full control over who is around their they should be married and have custody of said. he wouldnt have this problem in that case. but no amount of money is worth changing my custody situation and knowing my is safe at all when he goes daycare pop up randomly on them motherfuckers:) im encouraged by those who first and then have, it really is good for them. OP do as she wishes, the logic of her "not knowing someone until you live with em" doesnt make sense. if you dont know dude shouldnt "find out" with the there. but not to nitpick this can get very ugly there are mediators who would to counsel and assist her and her ex, there are lots of free lawyers but the best solution is still to be respectful and good to each otherr for sake and pick your battles. its okay to not believe in living together before marriage but that isnt really pertaining to the law. all they care about is what is in the childs best interest and what is written in the terms. if both parties change the terms the court uphold it, if they dont agree the father can ask for lots of things like cps home studies, drugscreenings, therapy etc and ultimately custody but sounds like OP need not worry because her relationship with ex is non adversarial
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There is no right answer to when each person moves away from There isn't There isn't some magical amount of time for anyone to touch her, that comfort you, give your blessing to her. Did you envision her at home sad and lonely, numb, a recluse looking through some box of memories and crying over old, for you ? You had years. Somewhere in the future you be with some other woman, you'll be intimate with her You not think of that old' relationship at all You might do it out of spite, anger You might do it for lust, or the effects ( excuse ) of alcohol. The time of having sex with this newer woman, to you, feel like a step of right timed, honest connection and moving onto a mutual exclusive romantic commitment to the other You can't judge her or live in the guessing game of control or bitterness with her, or judgement of her actions or emotional choices. She has years of influence and memories with you for better, worse, for changes, etc., Be graceful, wish her the best as you would wish her, for caring for you as well. In some time in the future, you her again Maybe you have the communication tools to be able to talk over what could have been different for the two of you, or a simple conversation and an honest exchange or real happiness, that they are okay, are good, have grown. Time, takes time horny and want it asapI've become intrigued though now by this idea of judgment, since (I can't help it) the judgment has been made that I am judgmental. And I'm sorry if I'm thinking out loud a bit, Bean, since you not be responding, but if anyone wishes to I would be very happy to hear her thoughts. So, since, for the sake of argument, I have a greater than average amount of judgmentalness, I am wondering what exactly the difference is between being judgmental and simply judgment. I mean, my understanding of judgment is that it is the process by which a person takes facts, impressions, prior knowledge, new knowledge, observation, etc and puts them all together when confronted with a new situation to "judge" or understand it, make connections, make decisions, etc. So, where is that fine line between doing that and becoming judgment al ? When one becomes disapproving because of the conclusion they have made? Or is there something more or less? And, more to the point, is it possible to do the former (make judgments) without doing the latter (being judgmental)? Is it possible to live a life in which we disapprove of nothing? Is that desirable? What if I (or you, or anyone) were not disapproving of torture? This seems like an awful idea, so I have to wonder if having standards and expectations of behavior (now identified as a required part of the social contract) means that being judgmental is also some part of the social contract? Or is there a way to tease those two things apart so they are not mutually dependent? Is being judgmental in moderation acceptable, and only becomes unacceptable (and therefore worthy of the judgment of others) when it crosses some certain threshold? What is the threshold? relationship dating advice
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