Rambling A over a year ago, I passed up the chance of having the one person I always wanted, because I wanted my freedom. I wanted just myself again, afer years of trying to love someone else, who was determined to erase my existence I guess we could say. I said mean, heartless things that I regret.I was drowning in mid air trying to the reality of everything happening around me, that I hurt the one person I never wanted to hurt. I think back to those conversations a lot of times I just want to cry, how could I let someone break me down so badly, that all I could say to the one person I actually loved was harsh, shattering words? How in the world did I let things get so out of control, that I couldnt even control myself? Then the hundreds of memories of the love I so wanted flashes through, its just.. a hurricane of mixed emotions.. Then I block everything out, its too overwhelming for me to deal with. Tears are not something I wish to shed. I couldnt apologize even though I want to, nothing I could say or do, could erase what I said and did. Time doesnt rewind, there are no do overs. All that because at the time, I wanted myself and my freedom. Well I got my freedom and myself. Turns out I've too much freedom these days. Most nights I lay awake with a thousand memories, words, or just random thoughts rambling through my mind, to fall asleep and dream of the love I once upon a time knew. I guess the upside is I dont dream every night, well not that i always re, but these days its that I sleep. Its crazy to me, that I gave up the chance because I wasnt exactly sure if what I believed I wanted was what I wanted or thoughts of someone else. Makes no sense im sure. But now that I've had this year to myself, the freedom of doing whatever I please, no one hounding me, or trying to change who I am, Ive realized a lot of things. Like that I always changed what I said I wanted in a guy over the years.. example "I don't like little guys I like bigger guys". Only I wasnt cl Array free adult in Cheyenne Wells townLooking for fun Looking for someone new to talk to. See where things go after that. Will tell more about myself over. ONLY replying to those with a and age. mature sex Capitola California give me sex
sexy dutch french girl k i s s i n g me 21 Could you be my prince charming? I'm not really sure what to say here, I've never done this sort of thing before. I'm a 24 white female. I love to have fun and try to not take life so serious at times. I'm a college graduate with a full-time job and I absolutely love my job. I'm passionate about the things I love in life. And I'm very close to my family. I love sports (football, baseball hockey), the beach, shopping, spending time with family and friends, watching a good movie, relaxing, working out, cooking and cleaning The list could go on! I'm very mature for being only 24. Possibly it's because I've been through a lot in my life. It's taught me to fight for what I believe in and to NEVER give up. I'm looking for a possible long term relationship. I'm not into the that most women play. I don't have time for that. I want my other half to be my best friend. And I won't settle for less than I deserve. Military men drive me wild :) Anyways, if you want to say hi, don't be shy. Send me a and a little bit about yourself. Also put your height in the subject line so I know you aren't spam!! Hope to hear from you soon! looking for texting friend cape girardeau
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