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I have been seeing a guy for a year and relocated to his state lately to be together and things are not to my works hard hours and I respect that but he loves the alcohol,porn, and sending secretive messages to women and they become his friends and he sends them his address. I have told him several times how I am hurt by his actions but he just retreats to being more sneakier/defensive on computer n blocks/deletes s everything on his cell phone. I want to trust him but because he has promised me in the past he wouldn't continue his ways. I am wondering am I can ever trust want trust and communication but he is very defensive when I try to talk about personal issues like these that are damaging our relationship. there is a language barrier between us and he has the capabilities to women in tells me his dad ran around on his mother all the time but his behavior isn't far from his fathers I said he would never do it to me. Recently, an old ex has been sending him 3 letters a week in the mail out of the should I say enough is keep mailing them and they keep coming back and post office has no way to stop lletters I contacted I please get some feedback from men and women..I do cook,clean, laundry run all our errands he wants for noting but he doesn't respect how I feel and says ok I change but if the shoe was on the other foot he would of left the relationship. Feeling exhausted.. not exactly casualI've been doing a lot of reading on the subject. Yes, I am looking, but I'm going to enjoy meeting men as people first. I don't believe there is a Mr. Right, only a Mr. Right Now, the guy standing in front of me. Of course there are certain qualities we all look for but when there is a "shopping list" to go with it, that's when we begin to eliminate prospects. Like there are so out there to begin with!It really keeps us from getting what we want. So what if she doesn't play golf, if she's gonna you and be your best friend and lover, and take good care of you! Duh! I sometimes wonder the following: if a person has all of those qualities you want but doesn't "look" like the picture you have created in your mind, would you pass? I think we are all guilty of this, particularly when we were younger. What a shame! There is a quote I from The Little -: It is only with the heart that one can rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye. And that, for me anyway, is the answer. We have all been trained to think from our minds, but this is a matter of the heart. That is repeated over and over in my readings. I'm going to stick with it. Ok, first you have to even find someone who is still breathing! Men, there are so women volunteering all over the place! Take a cooking class! Who do you think goes to those things? Women who like to cook! For both, church is another place, just try to find one with a large congregation. this helps. dating marriage
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