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i you're sensitive enough to make the distinction between the two words. there are some activists who argue that cross-racial affection is inherently problematic, based (in this case) on the "rice quean" phenomenon. sometimes, older white males objectify younger asians, projecting all kinds of exotic and colonialist fantasies onto them. as an older white male who has had affectionate relationships with asian men, i find the "rice quean" syndrome despicable. some asian activists, for example, argue that asian men who prefer whites have some kind of low self-esteem, etc. perhaps that is indeed the case in some instances, but i believe it is possible for men of different races to enjoy mutually supportive and affectionate relationships without all the colonialist crap. but far too often, it doesn't happen that way. still, podechong, i wouldn't feel that your interest in white males is anything to feel uncomfortable about. we are all complex creatures and there is no explaining our. sometimes it is racist/racialist, but sometimes (probably mostly) it is not. sex dating 56156Hmm. Well, I tend to agree with him, there. Why would he want a jacket and shirt from your graduate school? Did he go there? Unless he did, he probably doesn't have any affiliation with it, other than his GF goes there. But be that as it he could have been a lot more diplomatic about how he talked to you about it. That, plus other instances (the "cheap" cologne remark, for example) tells me that his expectations are different when it comes to gift-giving. I ask what he gives you for gift-giving occasions? If the disparity is too wide, that be also be a reason for his frustration. For example, if you're giving him a shirt, and he's giving you a bracelet. He might be forgiven for feeling that the gift is indicative of the importance you put on the relationship, and be speaking out of hurt feelings. I don't say that it's right but it could be a factor in his disappointment. Granted, his words were ill-chosen, but is this a possibility? Some people come from very different gift-giving traditions. My husband is one of the most generous people in the world, but extravagant Christmas gifts make him crazy his family tended to low-key gifts to small, thoughtful or funny items, and my family's tendency towards more expensive, splashy gifts made him very uncomfortable. It caused some misunderstandings early in our relationship, because it's hard to not equate the thought put into a gift with the depth of feeling behind it. But we worked it out I scaled back and he stepped it up a bit, so now I'm not getting bedroom slippers while he's getting a leather jacket :-) Either way I'm sorry his didn't like his gift. It happens. But to declare that he never get another gift from you is just a little bratty, isn't it? Like I said, we don't know what kind of gifts he gives you, or what the expectations are. For most folks, I'd say that yeah, you accept your gift, smile, and quietly dispose of it if you don't like it. But if you can't be honest with your SO then why are you in this relationship? us dating
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