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* Please make sure to spend an entire weekend texting me about how wonderful you think I am and how great a time you are having with me and how much you miss me and want to see me again and then on Monday get really upset and say that I'm taking things too fast when I ask you if you want to go out later that night. It's even better that you never talked to me again despite the fact that you were the one who suggested over the weekend that we should go out! You were right, I did move to fast in thinking that you were actually a decent person.
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