Rambling A over a year ago, I passed up the chance of having the one person I always wanted, because I wanted my freedom. I wanted just myself again, afer years of trying to love someone else, who was determined to erase my existence I guess we could say. I said mean, heartless things that I regret.I was drowning in mid air trying to the reality of everything happening around me, that I hurt the one person I never wanted to hurt. I think back to those conversations a lot of times I just want to cry, how could I let someone break me down so badly, that all I could say to the one person I actually loved was harsh, shattering words? How in the world did I let things get so out of control, that I couldnt even control myself? Then the hundreds of memories of the love I so wanted flashes through, its just.. a hurricane of mixed emotions.. Then I block everything out, its too overwhelming for me to deal with. Tears are not something I wish to shed. I couldnt apologize even though I want to, nothing I could say or do, could erase what I said and did. Time doesnt rewind, there are no do overs. All that because at the time, I wanted myself and my freedom. Well I got my freedom and myself. Turns out I've too much freedom these days. Most nights I lay awake with a thousand memories, words, or just random thoughts rambling through my mind, to fall asleep and dream of the love I once upon a time knew. I guess the upside is I dont dream every night, well not that i always re, but these days its that I sleep. Its crazy to me, that I gave up the chance because I wasnt exactly sure if what I believed I wanted was what I wanted or thoughts of someone else. Makes no sense im sure. But now that I've had this year to myself, the freedom of doing whatever I please, no one hounding me, or trying to change who I am, Ive realized a lot of things. Like that I always changed what I said I wanted in a guy over the years.. example "I don't like little guys I like bigger guys". Only I wasnt cl Array is erica Toulon on any chat roomsLooking for BBC to have fun with Looking for a sexy black man with a BBC to have a little fun with. Would be nice if you're great at oral too :) 18 year old black female here. Nice, tight, fresh pussy for you ;) Mobile and cannot host. Your gets mine. E-mail me with BBC as the subject line friends and maybe little bit more free naughty webcam chat
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really need some good foreplay here oral fwb anyone - years ago, there was an ice storm in November, just when the loons were migrating south. The weaather forced of them down, and it seems loons need to land and take off on water. Unfortunently they can not tell the difference between a lake and an ice covered road. There were confused loons in the middle of the roads all around my apartment. Animal control sent us to The National Wildlife Research Center, just down the road, and they said they would by when they could. I asked if it would help if I collected them from the area so they did not have to do as much driving around to get them, they were incredulous, b ut did say somelthing like "if you can". I should have known they were telling me something. Loons are big birds and they do not much like people. The first one was not to much trouble, I scooped it up in my arms before it really knew what was happening and my room mate opened the Land Rover hatch for me to put it in. I only got hit in the face once by a flapping wing. The next one was different, I think had been tormenting it and it wanted nothing to do with me. I managed to scooop it up, but not before I had fallen more times then I care to remember. When trying to get it into the back of the Rover, The first one freaked and I had to upset birds to deal with trying to extrace myself from the truck and close the hatch without hurting someone. The third one, we put in in the passengers door, let the birds settle then got in and shooed it into the back so we could go look for more. The forth one was much the same. We took them to the auto shop I was partners in and let them loose in the shop. I went back out looking for more alone because my room mate had had enough of big birds. With out him, I could take 5 birds. What I remember most about the night was having 5 hyperventlating loons and me in a very old Land Rover and the windows steaming up so I opened my window a little and all the birds rushed me trying to get out. Trying to drive, through fogged up wndows and having to defend myself against 5 deturmined birds is not something easy to forget. arabic teen slut from Columbiaville New York
But not have the same nature as them. You two do not have the same nature. And the thing is you cannot change soeones nature without resentment being the outcome. You are already experiencing it by you getting rid of some pets for him. You probly hate that you had to do that. You plenty of people that do not share a nature with. You just cannot have a successful, LTR with them. Story i like: Guy is a 80 hours a week hard driving career guy who loves the big city and he meets a great woman who he loves but her nature is to work a few hours a week, read, and listen to on a porch in the woods. no doubt there can be there, but changing either of thier natures for each other would just lead to unhappiness on one of thier parts. Nobody is wrong, the natures just do not line up. Relationships are easy when two people have the right nature. And fighing against it is insanity. Pets example below: Guy sees his friend and he looks very upset: Hey whats the matter? Well I just got this cat and I cannot keep her off the furniture. I have beaten the hell out of it and it not stay off the furniture. Well why does it bother you that it is on the furniture? Well I had a dog that never did that. So the simple answer is if you are a dog in nature find another dog, do not try to turn a cat into a dog. mature babes Bismarck ma
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