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in search of a relationship with fit active intelligent guy We would hold hands and kiss every we had to be alone and whenever we could we would sneak away to enjoy each other’s bodies. I’ll never forget that sense of urgency and passion as we ripped each other’s clothes off. Other times we just lay in a clearing out in the woods and he would put flowers in my hair while we talked about anything and everything or just stared up at the clouds. He was able to a side of me that no one ever had. We just couldn’t get enough of each other and it was the happiest time of my entire life. I was 11 years old and madly in with a wonderful who loved me and accepted me. When the was over I cried harder than I ever had before. The day I left, he was away taking care of some camp business when my ride home arrived. I never even got to say goodbye. I tried to get them to wait longer for him to finish whatever it was he was doing and return but they had to leave. I was sobbing uncontrollably and crying hysteriy as I left because I knew I would never him again. I cried all the way home and when I arrived I was still crying. As a welcome home present, my father punched me in the side of the head so hard that I saw stars and demanded that I, “quit acting like a sissy.” At that precise moment, as I watched him walk away shaking his head in disgust, something inside me died. From that day on, and more and more over time, I slowly came to the realization that I was now permanently, emotionally detached from my parents. There was no between us and there never had been. My existence was nothing but a nuisance to them and they provided me with nothing but a meal and a bed – and they did that only because it was required by law. I know this to be true because they both said so repeatedly. I’m one hundred percent certain that if they could’ve they would have just ejected myself and my siblings out in the street. We didn’t do anything as a family and we rarely even spoke to each other. I don’t re any interaction between any of us except for occasional fighting and yelling. After hearing my mother talking to her friends several times and saying things in her drunken stupor like, “I babies but I fucking hate kids” I came to understand that she really did mean every word of that statement and she was talking about me.
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