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and with the first marriage, things were bad right away but I fought everyday to keep it together while he battled to keep everything on coals. When he left in 08, I went down a dooming spiral in which I became a temporary alchoholic to try to keep those thoughts out of my head so I could function somewhat in society. At that time, I dated several people trying to replace him I guess, to fill that void, but it never worked. When came, I met someone that made me think I was totally over my ex, but when my ex found out it was serious he wanted me back and somehow I fell back to my ex. I then became pregnant with my and I thought at that time everything was perfect and remarried him. We started a business together and I did the office work while he went out and did the jobs. As the pregancy on, the violence and emotional arose again and I found myself feeling stuck. We sat down when I was 33 weeks pregnant that once our was born, we would divorce. Well, once my was born we got caught up in the little budle of life and everything we clashed about faded away. Our business went down right after our was born. He refused to get a job so once my turned 3 months, I went out into the job market and aquired 2 jobs, in which I traded one job for another to aquire more pay and hours. I worked 60+hours a week while he was the stay at home dad and I rented out a $ mo home for us to live in. I rarly ever got to my and he constantly bickered what I rented was not good enough. The emotional started again, in which I was glad there was only so hours I had to come home to it. But I continued on, and so went 6 months. When arose, he up in which he up and left after a small disagreement. Remember I was working still 60+ hours a day, in which I had to off the next two days to figure out how the hell I could work this in such a small time frame. So I figured it out and moved into my moms, obligated to keep the same hours to afford the sitter and all of my sons needs. THEN after being gone so, months down the road he comes back STILL without a job saying he found a $ house for me to rent for us . fuck in Naperville wyI think that women are in denial I know I was when they holidays come around and time has to be spent with family and the "other" part of your life kicks in. Where do those feelings go? I know I might have said I was ok with it when my lover was with family but I wasn't who wants to your lover by the bedside of his wife and and you can't be included? What if he gets sick she cant' even have a say in anything even men (or women) who say there is nothing there as as your money is together and you have and grandchildren and are living in the same house EVERYTHING is there..its not just about the money the money is a symbol of the control and the hold the other person has on you that's the point or one of that I am trying to make. One person gets hurt and it's usually the person who isn't married. Just my opinion of course life offers no guarantees but why set yourself up for hurt as time is NOT on our side anymore I think there are givers and takers in life and that's just the way it is. I know this started out as are they happy type of thread but its really more about terms and conditions why is everything even relationships today like a business? Wow if I knew what I know now and was in my 20's how different I would have been. Youth is wasted on the. Peace and people.. dating married
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