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The day I threw away fashion When she hit 60 Lurie realised that fashion no longer spoke to her. So she got rid of half her wardrobe, stopped colouring her hair, gave up wearing makeup and felt euphoric * Lurie * The Guardian, Wednesday 15 after I reached 60 I was abandoned by Vogue magazine and all its clones. Like former lovers who drop you slowly and politely because they once cared for you, they gradually stopped speaking to me. Without intending it I had permanently alienated them, simply by becoming old. From their point of view, I was now a hopeless case. They were not going to show me any more pictures of clothes I might look good in, or give me useful advice about makeup or hair. At first my feelings were hurt. Hadn't I loved fashion and been faithful to her all these years? Just as one avoids the songs that re a lost lover, I stopped reading her magazines, even in a doctor's office. As a result, I felt first panic and then a rush of euphoria. I was abandoned and alone, yes, but I was also free: after more than 60 years, nobody was telling me what to wear. Since fashion no longer pursued and flattered and scolded me, I realised that I did not have to pursue her. I could go through my closet and get rid of all the stylish clothes I really didn't like: the fitted jackets, the cropped pants that left six inches of pale stubbled leg hanging out, the silk dress-for-success blouses with floppy bows and padded shoulders. I also gave away everything too obviously "sexy" that is, shiny and low-cut and tight and uncomfortable. I hadn't worn these outfits for years, essentially because I didn't want to look as if I were hopelessly trying to inflame passion in members of the opposite sex. What was even better was that I could revive clothes I had loved in the past and hadn't been able to bear to throw away, though they had become completely out of date. The patchwork hippie skirts and vests, the filmy scarves and big soft shawls, the loose cowl-neck sweaters, the floppy straw hats, some with feathers or artificial flowers. Some of these things were so far out of date that they looked new, and if they didn't, I didn't care. Dequincy Louisiana sexy girlYour marriage is dying on the vine. You sense it so you are starting to become more sensitive to things. It sounds like you are afraid to rock the boat for fear of what it might mean. Nonconfrontational isn't much of a life, how does anything get solved if you don't confront issues? It doesn't and life loses it's passion. When that happens affairs do happen, I mean you can't find passion at home so where the hell are you going to get it? Suddenly one or the other find someone to "open up" to and since this is a common thing, find someone who seems to "share" the same. I was told the same speach, sold the same of goods. In response I did all the things I thought were what a good hubby should do work on myself, be the solid "good" husband ect..tried not to upset things too much, flowers on a Wednesday "just because", date night, ect looking back I how boring it must have been. I've said it before the things I did were NOT a waste of time but not adding passion to the mix was something I missed. That's not directly sexual, it's the approach to life, unafraid to say what's on my mind, to say "I don't feel that's right", to take chances/risks that might upset the balance. I wasn't a challenge because I wasn't challenging. I no longer made her stop and think. There wasn't any thing about looking at me where someone would say "this dude has it going ON". I was a "husband", not also an independent person and a. I wouldn't worry about snooping or trying to confirm an affair, I'd invest in yourself and less into your husband role. Roll the dice and live life. lonely women
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