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You are acting as if what you think about this proposed meeting actually matters. Tell him that it's not up to you to decide his social life, and if he wants to meet up with his ex, it's fine by you. Say it with a smile and MEAN it. If you trust him, what's the big deal? (Aha, but you don't REALLY trust him THAT much, do you :-) If he spends time with her and decides that she is the one for him, then he was never really "yours" to begin with. Hard to face, but true better to know now than after you've wasted any more time with him. The flip side of the coin is that he spends time with her and realizes that he's happier with you. If I were you, I'd take that time to spend time with friends that you have been neglecting in the last or months. Plan a party. Tell your BF that he's welcome to bring his ex. :-) cyber chat for Cornhill-on-Tweed adultsI think there's a difference between a passing fantasy and emotional or physical infidelity. I was on a business trip recently and met a married woman about my age with whom I thought I instantly clicked intellectually and emotionally we seemed to be much on the same and she was a genuinely nice person. Now the way wiz is wired if there appears to be an intellectual and emotional match it's natural for me to start thinking about a sexual connection. The woman was married (happily, I assume) and I am also happily married, but I spent a fair bit of the business trip thinking about spending or hours exploring this person. Hell, there are about women here where I've thought and hard about what it'd be like to spend a weekend seeing if I could get them to repeatedly out to their Deity and I've never met any of them. One of them was even kind enough to share a bit of a fantasy with me ;-) But fantasy is not reality. These people are all in (I assume) committed relationships as I am and the fantasies are fun but that doesn't mean I'd toss my current relationship to go bump uglies with someone who's piqued my interest. So should I leave my wife because I spent a couple evenings fantasizing about the nice woman I met? Hell, I *-* my wife fantasizes about people other than me whatever gets her through the night is just fine. Now if I was seriously considering breaking marriage vows then I think you're right I need to take a step back and take an objective look at things but for me there's a clear difference between fantasy and reality. Hell, there's a girl at the local Hooters who's almost thirty years younger than me but she's got the bright eyes, the quick smile and the sharp wit that really attracts me and I've thought several times about what it'd be like to entertain her for a weekend but all it is is fantasy. In real life she and I would hate each other after not much longer than that weekend, as although she's got most everything I look for in a woman she and I might as well be from different planets when it comes to intellectual and emotional maturity. I'd tire of her quickly and she'd probably feel the same. As I said I *-* my wife fantasizes about other people. separated dating
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