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its always the same woman posting Chunky Monkey I am realizing it is what it is. Not crazy just have some things I really want to get out. not just hide in some journal somewhere. I held on to hope for the longest time. Believing we'd make it through. From the day we met there has been battles, we have taken turns being the shit head and we have always overcome. I hope you know in no way do I place the blame on you will I ever hate you. To this day I still love you so very much and it is taking much everything I have to get through each day. Every day I miss you more. Maybe you think otherwise, and I truly am sorry if I didn't show you in all the ways you needed. It will be a regret until my dying day. I would give anything to listen to what you have to say. for a chance to make things right. I know you are hurt and upset, I am too. I never wanted this! I wanted a lifetime with you and all your beautiful quirks.. to wake up to your handsome face and your gatlin gun mouth. This world can be a crappy place but to me our world was perfect. Our family, dimple boy in the , our neurotic dog, our home we spent hours creating, the garden that wouldn't grow, the best cuddles ever, tectonic plates, Wilbur Wright, Weber, coffee and vinyl. There is so much more and it was all perfect to me! I wish you believed me. I am far from happy I've been a mess, a kind of heartbreak I never knew existed. I worry everyday if you are ok. I know your struggles and I know your heart. I know this isn't easy for you either. It is so much easier to be pissed and think of all the bad things, I've been there I know, and that too is something I now regret. I am a fighter and fight for what I love. history should prove this. though sadly now it is painstakingly clear, I have no choice but to fight like hell against everything I believe true, to convince my heart to let go. I never wanted to.
Looking for possibilities.. What I am looking for: white male on the tall side (5'8" or up) 35-48 years old drives has a job non-smoker clean and disease free is NOT a felon light or non-drinker good sense of humor likes BBW is NOT interested in multiple sex partners sexually (maybe even ?) I'm NOT looking for anything but friendship and comfort/pleasure right now. I am open to anything later on down the road. About me: 40 yrs old BBW 5'8" light brown hair blue eyes have (so I can get busy) support myself have a car clean and disease free non-smoker occasional light drinker free If you send a , you will get one in return. One line responses will not be answered. I want to know you can on a conversation. Tell me about yourself and what you are looking for.
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the earliest memory i have of my father was laying in bed with him, both of shirts off. I'm not sure if there was a sexual componet to this or not. i think i remeber my mother coming in and getting mad at him ( they split before i was born) and i never really saw him that much. the second earliest memory i was 6 and my sister 11, she asked me to look inthe bathroom and tell her how big his penis was while he was peeing. that last one gives me chills, but my sister and I get along OK today, but I've never brought it up to her because im afraid to her reaction to it, she might deny it, or tell our mother or what ever idk. thats not the issue. but when i was 11, my mother married and the who i now refer to as my stepdad. He used and her, he cleaned up real quick ( my momma don't take shit from no one!!!) but this did alter my view of him and made me more distrustful of men. now im 23 and i have a two good guy friends and have been in (semi) relationship. the thing is I've also been bi-sexual, I don't think i could do a relationship with a unless he was straight acting and really really laid back. basiy i want a "bro" who i could have sex with. and i hate guys and their fucking drama!!!! there just so fucking picky! i can't stand it. its like every guy I've met has had to find SOMETHING to complain about it drives me NUTS. my therapist said this could be a repulsion to men out repulsion to my won feelings, but i don't think so, i think it's that i hate picky people in general. now i feel like if i found a good mentally woman who loved me and wasn't a pshycho ( my first and only ex GF would try to make everything my fault and make me feel guilty even though she admitted to being in the wrong) it could work out.( keep in mind that the reason i only had one GF is because I've been focused on school and work) but i do still fantasize about guys, and their dicks, i wonder sometimes when i a really attractive guy walking down the street ( jackman type) how big their is. is this an effect of what happened to me as a? did it make me bi-sexual? I think if i really found true with a woman that this wouldn't be an issue. do you agree? Lubbock teens nudeI didn't want to read the article I knew it would hit too close to home as my Father was recently(-ish) released from the relentless maze that is dementia (be it Alzheimer's early on-set or otherwise or any other mental deterioration) BBUK's endorsement motivated me to go on ahead and stop swimming in "that river." PorkPie's article included: "The fact that Leavitt’s mother was such an intelligent, quick-witted woman meant that she was quite aware that she was losing her faculties. That awareness made the process all the more difficult for her; she was angry and bitter and lashed out at those closest to her. She didn’t want to need their help." The closest portrayal I've seen of this phenom (other than watching my Dad) the phenom of an absolutely brilliant mind becoming aware of its unstoppable demise and the tragic and bitter grief that accompanies such awareness is from something almost completely un-related. Matter of fact, its origins were in science fiction: It was a short story that was then expanded into the full-length novel, "Flowers For Algernon" which was made into the "Charly" in. Robertson was I can't even put into words how complete his rmation (full-circle) was in that movie. He so truly deserved the he was awarded that year (which, btw was the year I was born). I kinda have a thing for old classics thanks to mi Mami who sat me down to watch them all while she was here. Do read the book and the movie. Nice to you BBUK! PorkPie Sorry I was hesitant. And, thank you! dating relationship advice
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