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so when one of us wants sex, we ask for it. If the other person doesn't want it, they say no. If the other person wants it but can't, they state the applicable reason. And we made a deal to go along with this arrangement that the other one would not feel rejected if they asked less than times and got no as an answer. After the third strike-out, though, and the person asking automatiy got a raincheck for a time and date of their choosing. We went through the hesitation stages for quite some time, and for the same reason, actually. She had made it clear to me that she wasn't some sex machine, there for my amusement, early in our relationship. Over the years she has realized that sex is only a part of our relationship and has actually developed a hearty appetite for our sexual encounters. As for how to get over the anxiety, communication with your wife would be my best advice. Let her know how you feel and why and ask her what kind of an arrangement you can come to, whether it is semiphore, covert notes, or the more direct ask-and-ye-shall-receive approach. need a friend to lead the way
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