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afternoon Durban looking now your marriage. It's not a battle worth the fight, and damages, to win. You really are stuck in that old school thought, aren't you? There's no "role" of being a Mom that she has to conform to, WHILE ALSO going to school and/OR working a full-time job. Are you doing HALF of all the chores? Bathe the? Fix their school lunches or breakfast? Wash/fold/iron laundry? Do the grocery shopping? Vaccuum the floors? Mop the kitchen? Clean out the refrigerator? Put up the -' toys (or make them do it)? Feed the pets? Dust the furniture? Clean windows? Scrub the shower/tub? Clean the toilet? Take out the trash? Cook half the meals? Clean out closets? Organize the garage? Maintain the budget and pay the bills? Straighten the living room? Make the put their shoes/backpacks/stuff away? . Do you where this is going? Doing the dishes once a day, and a few other chores just before leaving for work does NOT qualify as half the work of keeping a household running smoothly. There's no "role" anymore that it's her "job" to do all these things. When both partners in a marriage work (and I've already explained how going to school full-time is the same as a full-time job), then both of you share in the chores. Equally. I understand how you feel she's trying to get out of work but you're wrong. It's YOU who's trying to get out of doing your fair share. Perhaps you're afraid that if you take on a greater share, that she'll start slacking up and you'll get stuck with it. That wouldn't be right of her, either . and that's when it would be time for you to complain; NOT because she's trying to get out of the mommy role, but simply because she's not doing her fair share. Some couples divide the work differently. One does all the cooking, while the other does all the dishes. One vaccuums and dusts, the other keeps the bathroom clean. One takes out trash, the other feeds the pets. Etc. I think if you sit down with her and outline all the chores that need to be done on a weekly basis, then put an estimated time to each chore (how much it takes to get it done), add them all up . then compare that to how much each of you must spend at work or school/studying, you'll it's not a fair division. Really, put a pencil to it and. seeking warm hearted Bad Rothenfelde woman
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