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My best advice is to buy the book. Read it. Have her read it. Discuss it. Explore some of the suggestions that she feels comfortable with. Letting her take control of the process can be very helpful. It take a little longer, but ultimately she needs to know that she is in charge of what happens to her asshole. =) For specific advice: -You need to understand the anatomy. And how to avoid hurting it. (the book or just e be helpful) -You need to figure out what she is afraid of. Fear/anxiety is like a dandelion you have to get to the root of it. -Find the right lube. And use a metric fuck ton of it. I am not kidding. The ass does not lubricate itself. (- anatomy) -Find what relax her. This take some experimentation. Consider it part of the journey (ie, don't forget to stop and smell the roses) -Introduce ass play, rather than full penetration, first. This help tune her in to the potential pleasure of it. Just run your finger very lightly over a well lubed asshole during, say, oral (you giving her oral, in case that needs to be said). If she doesn't like this at all, then back off. If she does then you can explore a bit further -Small toys, a finger. During oral, or any other activity that gets her highly aroused. When you get to full penetration, things like position and come into play. But you should have enough to get ya started there. looking for a white girl with benefits
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