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Abington naughty bbw Rambling A over a year ago, I passed up the chance of having the one person I always wanted, because I wanted my freedom. I wanted just myself again, afer years of trying to love someone else, who was determined to erase my existence I guess we could say. I said mean, heartless things that I regret.I was drowning in mid air trying to the reality of everything happening around me, that I hurt the one person I never wanted to hurt. I think back to those conversations a lot of times I just want to cry, how could I let someone break me down so badly, that all I could say to the one person I actually loved was harsh, shattering words? How in the world did I let things get so out of control, that I couldnt even control myself? Then the hundreds of memories of the love I so wanted flashes through, its just.. a hurricane of mixed emotions.. Then I block everything out, its too overwhelming for me to deal with. Tears are not something I wish to shed. I couldnt apologize even though I want to, nothing I could say or do, could erase what I said and did. Time doesnt rewind, there are no do overs. All that because at the time, I wanted myself and my freedom. Well I got my freedom and myself. Turns out I've too much freedom these days. Most nights I lay awake with a thousand memories, words, or just random thoughts rambling through my mind, to fall asleep and dream of the love I once upon a time knew. I guess the upside is I dont dream every night, well not that i always re, but these days its that I sleep. Its crazy to me, that I gave up the chance because I wasnt exactly sure if what I believed I wanted was what I wanted or thoughts of someone else. Makes no sense im sure. But now that I've had this year to myself, the freedom of doing whatever I please, no one hounding me, or trying to change who I am, Ive realized a lot of things. Like that I always changed what I said I wanted in a guy over the years.. example "I don't like little guys I like bigger guys". Only I wasnt cl looking for a male friend just friends
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i am a real man looking for a good women Seeking 37 something CONSCIOUS-Athletic LIFESTYLE professional I am a shy, attractive (semi-fit) woman who like to meet an honest, shy- conscious man. But PLEASE, you should be on a /FIT LIFESTYLE. Mainly hoping to hang out and do things with: "gym work-outs", library, movie, lunch, walks etc. hang outs! I've never been married, but have been in 2 long relationships-but have been single for 7 years now. No either. I am a conscious, spirtually minded person-Raised. I'm looking for someone who would like to create a steady friendship/possible relationship. Hopefully, honest with morals, and goals, and enjoys deep thinking conversation. You should be 37-50-* *FYI* If you do respond, please send a.-with some info on yourself -and we may correspond through , if I think we have things in common. If we are compatable, through , will I then give you my number to text me and possible send you a , and/or meet for coffee, lunch or dinner in a public place-during the day. Thanks for reading! Have a great day! :) I am hoping it could lead somewhere though! (not into FWB) please
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being serious, just a thought that's how i am. just relating. not to people commenting on my sexual performance, but if someone compliments how i look, i feel awkward. i don't want to be a and say "no i don't," but i feel like i'm agreeing if i say "thanks!" and i don't agree with them if someone tells me i'm bad ass at driving (which i would agree to hahaha!) then it's not awkward at all. girl fuck Chouteau Oklahoma
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