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The logical, rational part of me knows the "rules" and the pointlessness of trying to keep up ties with someone who obviously does not care. But there is this poetic/childish, immature/romantic part of me that keeps telling me that it has to mean something, the things we said to each other, the ease with which we fell into each other, the laughing and the cuddling, etc. etc. etc. that it has to mean something. Otherwise, what's the point of it all? For a certain amount of time we're totally into each other and them boom! nothing? I was the one that sat down and analyzed everything and decided that for me to reject the "let's be friends" offer meant that all I cared about was the sex. That if I really did care about this then I should be able to say, "Ok it didn't work out, but I still want you in my life." And now I don't even ask him to me or to out. I really don't. Because to him would be to perpetuate. I've even de-evolved from hoping for a phone to just wanting to back and forth once in a while. Just to how he's doing, to shoot the shit, to make sure he's happy. No, he wasn't my first boyfriend. On a side note, I read this on a lot of help-me-get-over-my-ex websites where people claim that to be completely honest with someone who wants to break up with you about how much you like them is desperate and needy. But I don't stalk him, him or even talk about my feelings for him anymore. Is it really desperate and needy to wonder why someone who claims that they "still care about you" wouldn't even find the time to follow up a "I'll you next week" with a or an? Just as common human courtesy? This shit blows, I was so happy being single. And now I haven't bought a new bottle of lube in months. lifestyle swingers girlfriendI have a friend I met about 6 years ago as a coworker. We became very close and I spent a lot of time with her. Both of our husband's worked a lot so we took the out ourselves. There were a handful of times we'd go out just us girls and the same amount of times we out as couple with our spouses. 4 years ago, my friend moved to Hawaii and I visited her twice. We were still close friends. When I came back from visiting her the 2nd time, we started to lose contact. Our slowed down and conversations did as well. We just grew apart. I was going through a divorce and she started a busy new job so we lost track of eachother. During this time, my ex became friends with her on and had told me times that they talked often. Since I wasn't close with her anymore, I deleted her as a FB friend. Since our divorce, my ex has tried very hard to get back with me, saying he’s changed and such, but I’m not interested in that. He has tried to reach out to my mom, brothers, other friends that I know of. SO, this wouldn't be out of the oridinary for him. Last Thursday my friend ed me saying she was coming to the mainland and wanted to me, saying maybe she could stop by my house and we could out. I was very shocked to hear from her and told her that I had a class scheduled for that weekend, but we could definitely meet up sometime. She ed me on Friday saying she was free Fri night and wanted to have some drinks at my place. I texted her and told her I was still in class and would text her when I was done. Well, my class went longer then I thought, so I texted her that I would be later and maybe Sat night I could swing by where she was staying and have a drink at the area bar or have dinner……..I got no response. It seemed to me that she was pushing to come to my place. I know she talks with my ex and what popped into my head was that she was trying to get some info for him. She was very interested in seeing me, but when I said we could meet somewhere, she never responded. My question is if I should send her an and ask what the deal was. It was so important that she ed me when she arrived, but then that changed when I wanted to meet at a different place. Looking for some opinions. divorce advice for men
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