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The Washington Post annually publishes a contest for readers in which they are asked to supply alternative definitions for various existing words. This year's list is no disappointment. The following were some of the winning entries in this year's contest: 1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon. 2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained. 3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all of ever having a flat stomach. 4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. 5. nilly (adj.), impotent. 6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown. 7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. 8. Gargoyle (n.), an flavored mouthwash. 9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. 10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline. 11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. 12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you. 13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish _expressions. 14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts. 15. Pokemon (n.), A Jamaican proctologist. vwe male New Caledonia for nsaWe were both just down with the stomach flu. Woke up simutaneously at 4am Monday night sick and puking. He in the bathroom I ran into the kitchen. DH comes into the kitchen as I was still in the throws of it and starts talking away saying: "WOW! we are BOTH sick at the SAME EXACT TIME! Isnt that crazy? Blah Blah Blah " He is just going on and on as I struggle to breathe I say : "Can you please.. not..talk" He says lovingly "Aww sure -" then carefully tucks my hair into my shirt, rubs my back as I continue to puke.. then (because all I had on was a shirt and panties) proceeds to rubb my ass!! And was getting really into it!! Saying how much he loves me.. He ended up running back into the bathroom to puke but its moments like those where I really have to wonder about the fella.. date service
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