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Hi again all, So much has happened since my last post and all for the good. But now I am here on advice for making a smooth transition to the next step. We are spending much more time together both alone and as a family (his mine) and although he and I are ready to make the "move in together move" it is probably just not best yet for the involved. Ok for my daughter who is going into the 8th grade. We have listened to her concerns and wants and we have agreed to wait until next (YIKES almost a whole year) to actually officially make the move. The time probably go quickly anyway as I we both have places (him house, me condo) to prepare. My questions: Ideas on getting everybody (him, me, -) use to the idea of "us as a whole" vs. the ME syndrome that we all seem to share. We all agree this is what we want, but we have also been independant for 7 years now. By the time we actually offiy make the move, I would it if everyone referred to "things" (the house, cars, furniture) as ours instead of mine, his, and hers. Also, if all others feelings were involved in decision making and plans. He and I are already very much working on this one. We sat down with each other's finance over the weekend and make term plans. He and I also discussed what needed to be done to each house and how we were going to get those things done. However, it bothers me very much (even though this is new) when SO refers to "my house" or "my car" or "my -" vs. "our house/car/-" When I bring this up, he graciously admits to understanding and trys harder, but what a ideas on how to ease him and especially our into the "Our/Us" stage instead of the "Me/Mine" stage. Those who know me, this is not a stressor, I am not worried, I have plenty of time to work through all of this. I am just looking for ideas on how to make the transition easier for all involved. I am confident that in the run, things work out beautifully. Just looking for suggestions or ideas to make the transition smoother!! Thanks! gold bows at mature wivesI'm in San, California and Family Law Attorneys cost an average of $ retainer and $ per hour. I ended up paying $35, (yes, thirty thousand dollars) in a year divorce. And guess what? My ex-wife and I were each at risk of losing properties to each other and paying for the other's attorney, that she and I settled on the phone in 10 minutes I swear. I literally wrote down about 15 items that she and I settled on and gave it to my attorney, who then added all the legaleaze to the document and we each signed and it was finally over. On the phone it went like this: Ok you greety bitch you take the Big House in the exclusive area and I'll take the condo and historic house; you greety whore, you take half of my state-retirement based on the 2nd formula (2 types at that time); you keep all the God damn furniture; You keep both sets of (12 settings in each and English) you fkn btch; we both have insurance on ourselves of equal value with the other as beneficiary (for my daughters sake); you keep your car and I'll keep mine; etc, etc. We had to give in and settle it ourselves mostly because of legal costs and the risk losing one house to the other (we had 3). Anywho, here in San, there is an institution ed "San Mediation Service", which if you both agree, they work with both parties and stay out of court other than maybe to file the document as official. FINALLY, YOU HAVE TO KNOW HOW GOOD YOU HAVE IT COMPARED TO CALIFORNIA ..SO, WHATEVER YOU DO, LOOK AT IT AS MONEY WELL SPENT BECAUSE THAT IS SO CHEAP .BUT don't GO ON AND ON IN COURT ALWAYS TRY TO SETTLE WITH EACH OTHER (EASY SAID THAN DONE, I KNOW). GOOD LUCK. switzerland online dating
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