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Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat. Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, officers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living. Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened tha n Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to . They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing. Here ends today's lesson in world history: It should be noted that a Liberal have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it. A Conservative simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to tick them off. And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your true self. Kenmare guy seeks asian girl for drinks tonite# Posted by Devine on /07; PM in My Back Pages Captain White Socks and the surly taxidermist Captain White Socks ( ) entered our lives as a small, mostly-tiger kitten that Amity heard about from her camp-bus driver. Such was Cappy's charm that it smote us all at once, even as we gasped at the giant fleas crawling out of his ears and over his tummy. Quick veterinarian action intervened. Years passed, during which Cappy grew large and bold, treating our family with a courtly affection but expecting to be the (neutered) male in his interactions with any outsiders. He was lordly (not to say a bit -) and he well have been chasing a car when he met his end. I had imagined that he (like our other cat -) always stayed in our back yard but kept away from the street. It wasn't so. There was a slight drizzle falling from the sky when I was summoned by the doorbell, and a very contrite driver, to look at Cappy's now limp but still beautiful corpse, spangled with fog drops. To my dismay taxidermists turned me down flat when I asked about getting Cappy "preserved" so that he could lie curled up on some mantel or windowsill. My were baffled. We had been to Chincoteague and seen the body of "mounted" (they don't it "stuffed") for eternal memory. We had stayed in New Zealand with people whose parlors displayed even (now somewhat motheaten) dogs they had loved in their childhood. But even though we were by then in Princeton, NJ, so that I was able to pester taxidermists all the way from NYC to Philadelphia, nobody wanted to "mount" our old Cappy so that we could keep him. "We don't do pets," more than one surly old-timer told me. Meanwhile, in our freezer, Cappy lay curled up in a giant plastic bag surrounded by frozen peas and fudge-ripple ice cream., of course, had a truly unique suggestion: "don't say it's a pet. Tell them I shot it." Somehow, I hadn't the chutzpah to try his method. In the end, finally, I bought some beautiful cloth that was black and, like Cappy, to wrap him up in. We buried him in the back yard. Einstein's back yard, which was our back yard way back then. But if there's a resurrection, Einstein can't have him because we want Cappy back! local chat
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