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unfortunatly, so people fight until there is nothing left to fight for. Just a warning, He come back, he look to start the relationship again. You or not have recovered some strength at that point. You have to set things straight in your mind. He has two options: divorce, or counceling. If you take him back things be EXACTLY the same in a week or two, then you truely have nothing left. I'm sure the apartment you are living in is in both of your names. The court take months to make any kind of ruling of ANY SORT. If he wants to sleep in the "joint" apartment there isn't anything that you can do about that. I would encourage you to this as a warning, he might use this fact to try and start a relationship again. out your "safty net" if he shows up, what happens? The won't help because you both have a legal right to be there, Friends? family? where are you going to be safe when he shows up? don't throw ANYTHING in the garbage. Remove yourself from all emotional attachments, if there are things that you purchased while married, he owns half of it. You can negotiate(he gets the TV in exchange you get the sofa) but document it, both of you sign it, date it times(once for each signature once for the date of agreement. If you have someone willing to be mediator, have them witness, sign it date it. If you have anything that is of value, or debt get an attorney. Attorney's require a "Retainer" typiy $ or more depending. Filing yourself cost around $ , but you accept any mistakes you might have made. the process goes like this: 1. file 2. service(different for every state typiy the sherriffs office deliver them for $30) 3. he need to reply 4. wait 90 days 5. status hearing 6. mediation(meeting to discuss belongings debts)(this is NOT a court date, this is up to you he to perform GET THIS DONE ASAP have a witness) 7. status hearing(if both parties are happy with the results of mediation, the judge mighte end it right there) 8. Trial on anything that couldn't be decided. Call the courthouse in your county and find out if you can get the forms online. typiy they are good about helping. if you do not have an attorney you are going "pro se"(example forms) macoupincountyil gov/CircuitClerk/ are there any real ladies out therrmanage the anger of their abuser right up until the split second he goes for you and pushes you and then the next time he hit you and then choke you. You sound very smart about a lot of things but not smart enough to you are in danger. Do you have a good relationship with your family? I would ask you parents if they felt you should hold on to this relationship but they need to know the whole story. You he is already grooming you not to share his true behavior and when he hits you you be all alone with no one to share it with because he have you isolated from the people who. dating side
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