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The current split up of overall custody is- Moms 60% Joint 25% Dad 15% That is the current stats for the living situation of of divorce in. This is not a reflection of CONTESTED custody. If Dad doesn't care enough to fight for the, it usually goes to mom and vs versa. When custody is contested, you are right, I was apparently labeling "joint" as a dad win. I apologize for my error. However, even by your statistics Dad's now have a MUCH better at winning than they did even a few years ago. This is a shift. It also makes men seem a whiney and victim like when they say "the courts are all against me" when Joint custody is the majority. Fathers do not "win" sole custody very often, but neither do women. Usually one of the parents walks away, and the other takes care of the, it is statistiy more likely for a to walk away from his than it is for a woman. My ex for example, when we first divorced, did respond to my motion for primary custody, unfortunately he was incarcerated, and his attorney adviced him to settle and give me primary custody. That would techniquelly be listed as a "contested" custody case even though we settled out at the first hearing. That happens a LOT. Normally one of the parents get tired of fighting and they agree to a resolution between themselves. Fathers tend to give in faster than mothers do. Mothers tend to fight dirtier accusing the father of sexual, domestic violence, optain tpos etc in at least 60% of all contested cases men only make those accusations approximately 20% of the time, so out of pure self preservation, parents drop it to avoid the humiliation. BUT when a father goes to the VERY end dads are winning at least joint custody at least 70% of the time even by your stats So I am getting a sick of hearing men say that they are being victimized in custody court. They ARE being brutalized a little to much in support court but custody? Men are doing just fine. horney moms in Grand Coteaustatements about your accomplishments, just like the celebration said, only in an even tone. One that shows more of a solid resolve to never repeat. Judges know that people who go through programs often come out of them taunting their accomplishments only to repeat after a year or two passes. Ever anyone go through IMPACT or other self help seminar? A lot of people come out gung ho check back in a year or two. How about people who repeat after counseling? They it all the time. All I'm suggesting is that you temper the enthusiasm with the show of even emotions. Shows you're serious about continuing and when/if the ex attacks, your lack of reaction to him definitely be telling. You don't feed into it ie: You won't add to conflict which is a real sign you won't tolerate. You have a TON of things to be proud about and you have hard evidence available. THAT speak volumes about what you've done. Make sure you have the documents backing it up, like the DV group you be facilitating. You're going to use this experience as a positive and pay it forward. I think the time to smile be when the judge actually agrees you've seized this opportunity. And I the real celebration comes when he acknowledges it with granting your motion. adult social networks
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