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is to be the one who is dead. You seem to have cross-posted this a lot, and I'm not sure if you are just trying to get varied views or if you are looking for one in particular, but here's mine: It's petty to bicker over who be mentioned in an obituary, who stand where and do what in a funeral, or what the banner on some flowers should say, for that matter. The simple fact is that a loved one is dead and if you were close to that loved one or the people he has left behind, you should make yourself available for them, should you feel inclined to do so, but with dignity and respect. If you wish to send flowers, a simple note of condolence on the card or just your names do, no need for a reminder of how you are related or what place you hold in the family. You have no right to request a place in this or any obituary, unless you are the one handling the arrangements it's none of your concern. I wasn't mentioned when my grandfather died, nor was my mother (my parents had been divorced for ten years but my mother remained a favorite of my grandfather's until the day he died) but we didn't need to be; being at the funeral for the family and being able to say goodbye to a we all loved and respected was good enough for us. looking for ski partner n Goulburn
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