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A happy marriage and A lot of people are too messed up to make that happen. But you are not. Despite that tragic event, you created a fulfilling life and have much to be have much to be proud of. I don't doubt the emotions the event are confusing. They are what they are; and you have to make peace with loving the, wishing he'd gotten help, and loathing his desperate acts the pain they caused. I know it's not easy. But you mention shame: nah, jettison shame. No rational person feels anything but compassion for the fourteen-year-old whose life exploded. She was a victim. One's heart hurts for her. The gut response of any rational adult is to want to protect her, to very much want her to be okay. And you are! Had you wanted, you could've acted out the pain confusion, turned to -/alcohol, become an embittered problem person. Instead, you kept your tender heart, married a supportive, had great are doing quite well. Of course, there are cruel irrational people. But there are also a whole lot of rational people who have been rooting for you along. You have every reason to replace shame with pride in your resilience fundamental sanity. While it’s right and natural to grieve the loss of your father, you are not him. You’re not responsible for the good things he did or the bad. Look at Kaczynski: he is greatly admired for the way he handled his familial tragedy. No shame whatsoever attaches to him for loving his brother (the unabomber) or being related to him. As for reaching out: familial tragedy is always a difficult subject. It makes people uncomfortable because they don't know what to say fear saying the wrong thing. So, you need an inner circle one or two friends or relatives you can turn to when you need to discuss this subject. I, personally, wouldn't discuss it with all my friends, only a select few. I’d also shield myself from news stories that remind me of the past. You’ve been through enough. No need to poke at the wound. You owe it to yourself, your husband to protect your sanity let the past recede. Because the truth is there really is SO much more to life, so much in the present. Nothing's more fun than Christmas with toddlers. Your life, your, your marriage, your are in the present: stay with them. i love to lick pussy calls onlyok the wa before i caught him posting in m4m. this sis how the goes: we have some lil fight or just tryingt or discuss a normal difference. He ay what ever he wants and ill listen then when its my turn to talk he wont let me by interupting me or telling me to stop. being the storng women i am i stick up for myself. He doesnt like that corners me and wont let me by, i get pissed and try to go through and he sAys dont touch me again.. which is bullshit becuase anytime you corner someoone they are going to try to get out then hell tackle me and hold me down put his hands over my mouth or pull my hair put me in different holds that hurt bad. The last time he bit my ribs bothe hand my wrist and the back of my arm while he wa holdin gme down. he has threatned to kill me inderctly by daying he hopes i die or he wants to kill himself and me.. the last time i think was the worse. I took pictures of it all. He said he was sorry. but i relize this si a cycle When I first met him he was in martial arts for over 2 yrs and was a TOTALLY diff person. all of this started when he stoped practicing martial arts. But is this just who he is? he has to want to chnage, so by me pushinc counceling and if he goes is that just a set up for failure? should i just leave and tell him that he needs to go onhis own for himself?when i leave hes ogngt o freak out cause hes thinking im taking our away. hes a great dad to his. just a shitty partner at the moment. its hard to throw away 4 yrs, i was in a ltr with my daughters father for 6 yrs and it was NOTHINNG like this at all. I justwasnt in but we were best friends, i was also very too when with him. asian dating sites
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