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there is always some risk involved with oral sex for some STDs . although significantly less than anal sex. If you are super concerned, you can always use a rubber. There's no particular etiquette or protocol, per se, about inquiring into STD status. I'm quite blunt, however, and just come out with it "What is your status?" or "Do you have any STDs?" is fine, IMO. Bring it up whenever you feel comfortable doing so. Also, use your judgement. Obviously if the guy has sores on his penis you probably don't want to be going down on it. Everyone also has their degree of "comfortability". Some guys allow men to cum in their mouths and feel that to be "safer sex". It is safer, in one sense safer than anal sex. Would I do it? No. Not unless we were both tested and were in a committed and monogamous relationship. It's complex, as you can. If you're doing on-line meet-ups, you can also write, as do, "HIV Neg", "Clean", "D/D Free" (disease and free) and the like. However, there is always the that your prospective partner could lie or not know. Should not be this complicated but it is. If you want to e-mail me with further questions, feel free. Best of luck to you in this endeavor. I imagine it is fairly exciting. 21 year old female seeking meaningful connectionsvery hard to deal with religion. People can believe ANYTHING they want. Obviously she wasn't like that when you married her or you wouldn't have. I'd suggest writing her a letter. Letters are good in that you have time to select your words carefully and good in that the reader can reread and think. I'd remind her of the good, old days and the that was there. Suggest that anything overdone can harm a relationship. Perhaps place a limit on religious discussion and participation time, using the new time to date her, and talk about the marriage. Offer your contribution, (resignation of your worship leader position) and ask that she match it. If you get no cooperation, you have no choice. Find a lawyer; they tell you how to proceed. Each partner is entitled to happiness (companionship, respect, satisfying sex life) in a marriage. If you've done all possible to keep together and it doesn't work, why would you stay in it? times dating
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