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I fully agree that I need counseling, my daughter gets counseling. I don't agree with the theory that I can't let him go. My theory that I have been kind of working off of, is that the sudden breakup was the WRONG move. So, We ease into it and let it happen over a bit of time. Kind of like getting fat. You don't notice so much while it's happening, then it's just already done. It's the same principle the abusers use. Gradual and over time. It's not ideal. I admit, but it has gotten him physiy out of my house without retaliation towards me. I do believe that that was the best choice I could have made, and if not, it's too late to change that. My initial need for feedback is because I am afraid of making the wrong move now and accidentally pulling him back in so to speak. My ego was destroyed a time ago when I started to irritate him daily, then all day daily, then anger him, then enrage him and I didn't even understand what I'd done wrong. Yes it hurts that the I thought he was I either drove out of him or was never real. It hurts that I was not really loved like I once thought, and that I never have been. But my attachment to him specifiy is dead. I don't even the same person I used to. It feels like the I thought he was actually died a time ago. I do want this gone. True thorough fear has has more to do with my actions and choices than anything. But you still have it that I need help. I don't know how to emotionally deal with all of this. I don't know what I am supposed to be doing that be the best choice for my daughters well being in the end. I can only do what seems to be the right thing at the time. Then, I can remain single as as she is still a. That be easy. Bitterness is setting in. fuck me reallyyyy hard
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