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you are not crazy to think that you can restore trust. You are just overly hopeful and unrealistiy optimistic. This is no condemnation of your hopefulness, just my 30+ years of experience with a diagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder sufferer. During the last disasterous 4 years of marriage, my Ex lied (almost daily) about how her "counseling" was going. A few days before seperation she finally acknowledged that she had quit counseling over 3 years prior because it was "just too hard". Mind you, we had been in "marriage counseling" for about of our marriage, and I finally decided that "she" needed individual psychotherapy (to which she agreed), otherwise, I'd divorce her. During that last 4 years she made several scary and witnessed attempts on my life (besides the run-of-the-mill domestic violence perpetrated by her, and in addition to the infidelities, lies, accusations, and general victimhood routine). Just sayin' if this all has you twisted out of shape and indecisive, take a few dozen hours to research BPD. You find that you are not alone in your grief. There's a book ed "Walking on Eggshells". If your stbx is truly BPD, you find that the book was written directly to and for you. There is a workbook to help you overcome the personality traits that allowed you to become enmeshed in a relationship with a BPD sufferer. And there are also workbooks for you and your attorney when you decide to "Split" or divorce from a BPD sufferer. And if you think things were complicated during marriage, just wait until you actually pull the plug on the relationship! You ain't seen ugly yet. looking for first bbw
There is a lot to it I used to get skunked a lot, but not so much any more. You can study a particular species of fish for years before you understand their habits and preferences. Hell, just knowing what species you target is half the battle. Hunting is the same way, you must know the behavior patters of the bird species you are seeking, what foods does it want, what time of day it seek food, where does it roost, what are its main predators other than you. Hunting is better 'cause even if you don't shoot anything, you get a ton of exercise hiking. In addition you can never work together with your dog enough, the dog needs to know you like your mother/brother, what is your feeling, why are you concentrating on that particular stand of brush, why are you listening and in what direction. The dog should respond to your every hand signal, be still, go that way, SEARCH by scent, STOP and be quiet, GET'EM !, Load up ( Get in the truck ). Training the dog takes a lot of time. Hunting is worse 'cause there is no catch and release. Butchering the birds / is a PITA but eating them is cool 'cause they don't have all the fat. Hell, I've caught the same smallmouth bass in our local lake a couple times every year. He/She is starting to wise up about crankbaits, though Either way, if you are going to do something, DO IT WITH PASSION. Be the best bike rider you can be, be the best Yoga stretcher you can be, you NEVER waste passion on a hobby, you can almost always waste passion on a person. mature girls in Lundthat you are overanalyzing the word "settle". It is just a word and maybe if you can change your mindset to the some other word, such as maybe compromise it might help. To settle makes one think in a negative way, in a way that things could always be better. However to compromise implies that you, yourself are getting something out of the situation. And each situation is unique. In a relationship you cannot keep score. So what that he gives on 2 big issues, that does not now mean you have to give on 2 big issues of his. When you are truly in you want to compromise. I understand there are some issue that you cannot compromise on, and we each have our own set of issues. I am still not really sure what the issue is that is giving you so much grief. Is it the smoking? If so like someone mentioned earlier that is an addition and it take effort on his part to give it up. I am more concerned with is to give up wanting to be a parent because you don't want to be one. That is a big issue IMHO to give up. My SO and I tend to agree on all the big issues. However, I am having to learn how to compromise on the smaller issues. hairy girl
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