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BDSM comes in flavors, colors, and sizes. There are those that enjoy a little fun on occasion, just to spice things up in the bedroom ("-, you tie me up tonight?"). There are those who do it on a regular basis, say, on the weekends for instance. They have a set routine, rules, gear, even uniforms. Then there are a select few who practice BDSM. To them, BDSM is a lifestyle. They live their roles all day, every day. Of course they need to have discretion in certain situations. One could not go to the office wearing a thick leather collar. But at home, there is no confusion on who is running the home. In this type of a situation, there are always guidelines, rules, structure and routine for both Dom and sub. Often the sub needs all of that from his/her Dominant, along with guidance, to feel complete. To a slave, submission is not something they do, it is what they are. It is a part of them. It is at their very being. have tried to run from it and deny the submissive part of themselves, only to have that part come back stronger and stronger. Once a sub realizes that this IS who they are, he/she can get a handle on those feelings and learn to nurture this part of themselves in a and safe manner. times a sub person find themselves in a relationship with a vanilla partner. After some time in the relationship, the feelings of submission emerge. Some subs hide thier feelings from their significant others until the the feeling of submitting pushes them to act upon it. discuss their feelings with the vanilla partner. Some partners share an interest in bdsm, other partners not share the interest, but are willing to indulge the sub partner for the sake of the relationship. partners have no interest in participating in the others interests, and refuse to be involved. subs choose to keep thier feelings hidden and try to deal with them in in silence. If the sub is not able to submit at home, for what ever reason, choose to express their submission outside of the relationship. If a vanilla partner is interested or at least willing, to pursue their own dominant side with their partner, There is nothing to fear. Discuss, discuss, discuss.
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