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I just barely learned of the borderline thing of weeks ago. Happened upon the book 'surviving a borderline parent'. It was a shockingly illuminating read!!! 98% every applicable. I'm so grateful to have learned that, so now I can start shoveling myself back together lol. I got over the jerk ex rapist. boyfriend years ago, I don't care, yes I'm over that. My mother, no. My dad ignoring everything? no. What I sooooooo desperately want to get past now that I understand it is self-sabotaging all my life. Abusive relationships I plopped myself into. Dumb feelings that I'm experiencing with the great I finally have for no reason? Guilt. Guilt because I wanted a different mother. Numbness. She almost died two years ago, multiple hemorrhagic stem strokes. I was there with her when it happened, I took her to ER barely in time for it to happen and was there watching while the ER people ran around. Surreal. Numb. I never felt sadness or pain, just nothing. And still nothing, and so guilty for that still. I want to get my feelings back before she's gone forever. I do her You've been through it, haven't you? And now I'm crying :( Thank you house wifes in crossville
viewpoint to another? First he's a great guy who makes the bed, cooks for you, spends time with your and buys them gifts and the next thing you know wham, the relationship is ALL about him. Hmmm, not buying it. Personally there are some key red flags about the relationship I can BUT they stem from BOTH of you. You them, you are posting about them but yet what you want to do is charge ahead regardless. He's still on the fence FOR GOOD REASON. Quite frankly, what I wonder is why YOU aren't wanting to move more cautiously. Geez you've only been divorced for a year!! im so hornyi need your helpAfter I loaded my burden here, I actually felt better because for the first time in my life I realized one of my flaws. Nobody knows I can be sad. And now knowing others really care. Because of my personality, the mask that I built, no one expects me to be sad or feel down but expects me to be strong, excited, animated and the life of the party! I am afraid, now, all of sudden, to say to people, I am sad or feeling down. It would be much easier to say or show this to one person that I could "trust" which I do not have now. If I say I am sad to my family, they not understand because they usually think I am angry which is most likely my mask for my sadness. If I say I am sad to my friends, they not really understand too because they never saw me sad they think I am not being serious. The short therapy I had in in the past, none of them ed on my mask. They actually reinforced my external self I am laughing, smiling, that I am happy but just feeling lonely One of the reasons, I got the dog was to treat some of my existential problems. I was told I was not sad but bored and had no responsibilities. When people say deal with issues, I have hard time understanding that. I think my issue is when I am sad I do not share it with people. It stem from lack of trust or being afraid of being accepted. I think no one would want a sad person so I share my happy side and then I forgot my sad side. I am more sad alone than when I am dating. If I go lower than the trust and not being accepted issue, I hit a block. Not sure what to do beyond that. Why don't I trust people or afraid to be accepted? Interestingly enough, I make friends fast and deep and trust them. Deep enough to share everything. I listened to people's sad stories. People sharing their sad stories with me. and I listening and helping others with understanding where their pain is coming from. blonde women
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