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then there are not like him. in his defense, it is easy to assume that he was so inclined in his thinking from what the op inferred originally. we really don't know how this, i assume, standing argument got started. these arguments can have twist and turns in them, which results in both parties to entrench themselves in childish accusations. we are hearing the end product of such an argument and only the feelings of one of the combatants. this only helps to feed into these stereotypical assumptions. if you think about the hours she is using for this second job one possible scenario is that he comes home at 5:30 considering average commute but she might return home around 7:30 or even later since there is commute to a second job. in this scenario who prepares meals really? unless they eat very late. or if she works the weekends, on her second job leaves very little time for these two to spend quality time together. that in itself would be a strain on this marriage. under this pressure cooker situation, we only hear one side; however things are usually not so easily unraveled on what was really said and said in anger for that matter. her interpretation would also be skewed and could take anything he said out of context. so before we demonize him, should we not at least take everything with a grain of salt? fucking Bowmansville New York cock big butYour spouse has to WANT to stop. The key is their inner motivation, their. An ultimatum imposes rules from the outside; it does nothing to address the lack of motivation on the inside. Bottom line: although giving an ultimatum feels good, it misses your target. Your target is your spouse's inner motivation. And how do you affect someone's inner motivation? The secret is to CONNECT with them. Let me explain. Life begins as a connected experience in the womb of our mother. When we're born and that physical connection is severed, we yearn to connect again. How we go about creating that connection and how well we succeed becomes the story of our life. People who make and meaningful connections with other people feel happy and fulfilled. (Research proves that the single most important factor that determines happiness in life is CONNECTEDNESS.) People who lack a real emotional connection with others grasp at anything in an attempt to fill that void in their life. That's what leads people to sex, alcohol, hours of mindless TV, falling in over and over again with new people, or an obsessive commitment to money, success, work, or a hobby. These trappings offer a MOMENTARY filling. But the cause of the emptiness your spouse seeks to fill is a lack of a meaningful CONNECTION in their life. When you create that connection with your spouse, you accomplish two profound things. First, you eliminate your spouse's for their destructive behavior. You take the wind right out of its sail. You cut it off at its source. They don't need it anymore. There's no more hole to fill. YOU filled it! Second, you offer your spouse a permanent filling for a hole that's been insatiable probably since their childhood. (Your spouse's destructive behaviors can probably be traced back to a disconnected relationship they had with their mother or father). And their for your connection, a REAL and LASTING filling of that hole, trump any momentary interest in seductive pleasures. So how do you get your spouse to stop their destructive behavior? You create a connection with them. Now here's the kicker. The chances are very good that YOU have no clue how to deeply CONNECT with your spouse. local dating
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