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My wife gained and lost a lot of weight since I've known her, and I've observed the differences in the way she's treated. It's disgusting, but it's true. Before, guys would look right through her. Now, she turns heads. So there's definitely something to what you're saying. But you know what, men have to live in a world where they're not necessarily noticed because of how they look every single day. I'm decent looking I guess but hardly stunning. Confidence is about your inner beauty. So no one notices you because you're overweight. Poor you. That just means you have to put yourself out there a little more. In the end you'll be a better person for it. You don't want to be the kind of person who's noticed and passively selected, like a piece of fruit in a grocery store. You want to be the kind of person who chooses your life and your life partner. horny Tilburg nswI once was reeled in from a not giving a shit attitude when it became really clear I was at great risk of losing my job (I was, in my early 20's) and I hated my bosses guts and thought that there was no way to please her and much gave up. I was moved under a new boss who talked to me and gave me tools to what I needed to accomplish to stay, and I saw them as attainable when under the old boss I thought nothing was attainable. I ended up being there years and thriving. On the other side, at the last job I mentored a guy in a downward spiral and flat asked him what he wanted. Did he want to be there? He really wanted to be there, so I asked him.. or told him that he knew what he had to do to accomplish that, and we spoke about it at length. I kindly spoke to him about how his displeasure was seeping into his communications etc and how he needed to really yank the bootstraps and deal with himself more than dealing with the personalities that were tainting his attitude. He did, and he thrived and is still there. I do agree that they have to want it. If they are already one foot out the door the best you can do is show them they are over ripe fruit and encourage them to look towards moving on for their own happiness. Good luck! meet dating
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