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Revelation!! Holy shit! I just figured out how to express WHY it's so unsettling when someone emails me and wants to see a picture. It's not that I'm afraid I'm ugly (I'm cute but not a supermodel) and it's not because I'm afraid of rejection (I'm too old to worry about your delicate sensibilities anymore). I HATE it when you solicit a picture from because someone who NEEDS to see who I am before they agree to meet up with me is not coming from the same place or traveling to similar regions, as I am. If you can't READ who I am in my words, either you're not good at comprehension, you didn't bother to read more than the headline, or, most likely, you're a male playing dress-up in CL-land. Voila. CL trolls and "women" who think it's all about how you appear rather than how you are, are now on notice: I will no longer feel bad when I refuse to send you a picture, and I will no longer even bother chatting further with you once you ask for one. Hah! I don't have to feel guilty or wrong. You-all just need to check yourselves and leave that baggage at home. Whew. That's a relief.
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being supportive, dufus. You assumed that since she said there was nothing you could do for her, then you should leave her to deal with this by herself. Women don't usually think that way. MEN do, but not women. Instead, women usually gravitate *towards* each other (or to understanding SOs) for emotional support; not close themselves off to be alone. Rule #1: DO NOT attempt to tell her what she should do to feel better. You're not Mr. Fixit; she doesn't want you to find solutions for her problems. She wants you to hold her hand, listen to her woes, let her cry on your shoulder, and hold her close. That's all. Rule #2: DO NOT blow off her emotions as unimportant, unrealistic, or counter-productive. Just let her vent, cry, complain, or bitch; while you stay out of the line of fire. Once she's vented, she'll calm down and feel better. Rule #3: Understand that "no, there's nothing you can do for me" means this: no, you're not a doctor and you can't fix this cancer for me. But I'm, and I don't want you to know how I am; so I'm going to tell you that you can't help, while at the same time I *expect* and *need* you to stand ready to catch me when it becomes too much to handle by myself. So yes, there's nothing you can do FOR me. But there's a whole lot you can do to make me feel better while I go through this by myself. Make sense? Send her flowers, make homemade goofy cards to tell her you're thinking of her, fix her favorite dinner, distract her with and other activities, buy her a bear, mow her lawn or rotate her tires for her, or text her for no reason other than to say I you or hear her voice, ask how she's feeling today, stuff like that. mature sex tonight Middletown saturdayin this life-time (?). At least Cherylynn's trying to be honest to the public, so far, in her 'trying to cope' blah blah. I remember in the very beginning when it came out about her sexuality, was saying she was 'against it'. But she's had to change her tune, basiy. But that's what gets for naming a '-' in the first place! Everybody knows make terrible fun of each other, without being fed extra ammo. just my 11 cents .. ;-D local girls xxx
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