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But as stated in my above response to F-G, we have two small dogs that we are both attached to and I would never keep him from seeing them. When I think in terms of "deserting" him, I do so because I would not leave our apt- he would. And he would go back and live with his mentally ill, addicted, alcoholic mother. Just being around her would probably send him back into a full-blown relapse that would land him in rehab, jail, or a grave. I don't think I'm ready to make the move that enables that change in his life. I him, certainly, and I do not want to him go down that terrible path. And since he is unemployed, he doesn't have other housing options that I can think of. I know I need to put myself first but I don't feel I'm ready to kick him out yet. I don't understand his decision not to engage in his hobbies.. I think they are anxiety reducing but his depression zaps his motivation and when he can barely motivate to get in the shower, playing guitar or writing music..well, that probably takes more motivation than hopping in the shower. i'm sorry if i made it sound like he has no interest in improving. He DOES want to improve. He wants nothing more than to have a relationship with me, to contribute, to get, to quit smoking, to do all the things he used to to do. He never learned coping skills and being without a good therapist and not being properly medicated, well, that seems to be a big hurdle to learning coping mechanisms. independent Lakewood wife looking for sexok, so the handle is a, which should give you a hint about the fact that I'd be interested in a place that's much like the spread he himself has, south of HMB. It's a huge parcel out in the country, secluded, people have their own houses, some are small and some are larger. There's a vegetable garden, fruit trees and other gardens, as well. (; How could a person start something like this, bearing in mind that while I have a beautiful disposition and extraordinary talent, I am not famous or in money. But I do have a little 'egg' to contribute, and I'm a very, very, very hard worker. to work hard both inside the house, cooking, baking, and cleaning,AND I working outside a LOT. I'm serious about this post. I want to know that my NEVER, EVER, ***EVERRRR* be having to look after ME! I'd rather be DEAD, than have that kind of a thing go on! So if I start now, and plan well, I think I could form a wonderful environment for not only myself, but other like-minded people who want to live closer to the earth, cozy-like, and look after one another and especially, *never*, *ever* have to go to an assisted living place, or a hospital or extended care unit, or, a nursing home TO DIE ALONNNE! H. Christ, THAT is a nightmare that would drive me to the woods and be a wild woman personified. I'd be naked and starved, my hair would be matted with dread-locks, and my teeth would be rotting out of my head before I'd ever submit to the status quo about where I'll meet MY end! I ain't goin' down like THAT, mannn. NO WAY!!! He he he So what do I do? What steps do I take? What should I E, even??? PS: When my brother gets his ASS out of bed, I'm going to talk with him about this more seriously I heard him playing the guitar til about 1 ish! It was almost in Pleasanton yesterday AND there was a power outage so he drove over here to escape it looking for some afternoon fun
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