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I have issues. Lot’s of ‘em. First and foremost in my mind today is my ongoing crush on one of my friends. I’m a middle-aged woman, and I met my friend and crush around 8 years ago. When I first met her, I noticed her every time I saw her. I never imagined anything other than “wow, there’s that woman I want to spend time with her”. She’s lesbian and proud. Several years ago, that feeling developed into a full-fledged massive crush for me. I have no idea if she ever noticed or felt the same. Despite my relationship and her relationship, the crush has not gone away. I’m not a relationship-breaker, at least for the other person. Since then, I notice women and look at them “in that way”, but beyond women who strongly resemble my friend, I am not attracted to them. I’ve been in a relationship with a great guy for nearly 15 years. For the past 5 years; the relationship has been intimacy-free. The intimacy was never “hot and heavy”, and I’ve never really been in any term relationships that were. All of my prior relationships have been with men. I had one affair that lasted 3 days with a 6 years ago. I regret it and would never do it again. I have never previously fantasized, kissed, crushed on, or “messed around” with women. In my youth, I had schoolgirl crushes on men only. Most of my crushing and dreams involve only kisses and hugs and a feeling of safety. I come from a screwed up family and have lots of issues about sex, sexuality and self-image. I am not attracted to my partner sexually. He stopped intimacy with me completely around years ago, and prior to that the intimacy was sparse (once or twice a year). I was content with feeling loved for years, although the sex when we had it was not earthshaking. I think I have a lot of anger and pain around the rejection. I’ve had earthshaking sexual encounters in my youth (or at least I remember them that way) with partners that I saw briefly, mostly for just a few months. Those partners with whom the “ground rules” were clearly laid out that we were a “fun” couple who were enjoying each other for a limited time. bi curious looking for a first time partnerto a conclusion about her and how she expressed herself and then allowed a feeding frenzy to develop around her presumed racist beliefs. Her only '-' was in expressing herself poorly. And for the record, if you read my post regarding Lubbock and Texas, I stated that these places aren't exactly known as being bastions of liberalism (as opposed to Cali, for example). A fair statement which I'll stand by. The nationwide reputation is what I was referring to. dating side
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