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this was the start of a very painful end. i decided to break up w/my girlfriend b/c i felt terrible about what i had done, and i felt she deserved better. she begged me not to leave her, that we could work it out. we tried. eventually, i decided i wanted us to take a break no contact whatsoever. i wanted to what we would do without each other now i regret that choice. after 2 months of no contact whatsoever, we saw each other at my sister's shower. we kissed, hugged each other and told ea. other how much we missed the other. i discovered that during the break she had started attending raves and was heavily into ecstasy, something i could not put up w/it. in the end, i gave her the ultimatum: me or the. she chose the. i lost it. i was furious. hurt. betrayed. fast forward: her mother ed my house to tell my mum (whom i still live w/) how happy she was that her daughter was dating a GUY! i was CRUSHED! i wrote her via fb, and told her how i couldn't believe how quickly she replaced me, only after 4 months of me giving her a choice of or me. i'll spare whoever is reading this a longer novel but here is what has me so deeply devastated, to the point that I FEEL LIKE DYING . i found out that after i gave her ultimatum, she went on a coke binge, and was close to overdosing. the guy who she started dating was there to "nurse her back to health". so she started seeing him. a little bit later ..she was raped. i feel so guilty about this! she was raped by an uncle who had previously molested her as a. now i don't know what to do. she has mentioned doing other things she is ashamed of, hinting at the fact that she performed sexual acts for during the break up, etc. we are friends now and i am trying to help her as much as i can. she had left this guy she was with in order to give US a, but the pull of dominating a sexually was too great, and she is back with him. in her own words, she is using him "just for sex". i am sure she is doing it as a means to reclaim ownership of her body. as a way to feel in control of her sexuality again. and now, i feel like the more she has meaningless sex w/this guy, the more confused she be. she also started drinking excessively and doing shrooms. this guy lets her do whatever she wants b/c he doesn't want to "change her". i feel so lost. horney mat in Tavalavala
Here is where I believe and that's an honest opinion, not some fun jab to try and bash away where I think you have a control issue and invite drama. Your words I did that with my ex, I said, Ok, here is what I am willing to offer a completely reasonable offer honestly OVER nice he said no, so I chopped off his balls in divorce court it was fun. and I STOPPED. lol I sometimes do poke his buttons But only after he tried to do it to me. Lol its not my fault I am better at it. Lol. I expect a small amount of "that was handled well." or "this might have been a better approach." Now that's just a few but what sticks out is your pleasure in control, words like 'I EXPECT', it was FUN I DO poke and then the backtracking of how you really don't I stopped and then LOL, there are lots of lol's aren't there, minimizing the wrong, it's like you're very dismissive and sneaky at it. Admit to a fault then minimize it. It honestly comes across like there is a part of you that wants to keep drama as high as possible so you can be the rescuer. You don't want to be known as one of the 'losers'. Look, the point of all of this is to someday reach INDIFFERENCE not hold superiority and I really feel you are on one side of that line. You can say I'm way off base but even the fact that you state quite clearly that you didn't EXERT any control shows that you feel you must have it in my opinion. I can go cold deadpan rational and work the issues logiy and I was very successful at it in my dealings in divorce as the saying goes in here, step on the throat..with a smile on your face and a civil tone..but fun? No I did what I HAD to do to protect my rights and my future. That's where I feel we differ greatly you seem to be reveling in this shit. don't pass that on any women in my areaCommunication is about getting your point across as as you understand what is meant communication has taken place. That the words are not in the correct order is unimportant .except to snippy, crabby prefectionist critics who have nothing better to do than pick up other peoples gawfaws good for you asshole love personals
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