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wcatwc.arh.noaa.gov/advice m4w I have been married for 12 years and I am clearly at a crossroads. About a year into may marriage I was out at a work function and a coworker (woman maybe 30 at the time) was talking about how after 6 years of marriage the spark was gone. She said she still loved her husband but the sexual energy was missing. Another slightly older male coworker agreed with her.
I now fund myself in this situation. Granted we have sex maybe 1 or 2 times a month. I do my part with the marriage and the kids. I am the one who does the cooking as well as the exterior house work and some other inside work. I work full time. That being said I have tried every way to spice things up. Before I go further I do compliment her with no interest in getting something in return. Ok, back to the spice part..I have tried renting steamy movies, buying butually "pleasing" toys, tried new things in the bed. They have ALL been shot down. Occasionally she opens up a little like she is doing me a favor or, as she says, "I am trying see".
So I amdit that I am very frustrated in my marriage from a sex standpoint. I love my wife and my life but I need more from her and she is unwilling or incapable of giving me what I want. I give her everything she needs and wants. I ask her if I am unsure so I know ALL her needs are met.
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The cure is the internal realization that dad is flawed, the family was hurt by her mother's death, and adults CAN get the and support they need elsewhere. What's hurting her is the belief that dad has some magic elixir that he could provide if he wanted to. He doesn't have it. And his perceived lack of isn't a choice: it's a flaw, a deficiency, baggage, a wound inside him. Whether she interacts with him or not, SHE has to stop longing for something that isn't there. SHE has to let go of the idea that ONLY dad has the magical goodies. Not seeing him won't stop the longing or the fantasy that dad is the only one who can heal her pain. What stop it is accepting reality: Dad's a mere mortal, who's flawed and confused and handled a difficult situation poorly; and adults CAN cultivate loving and supportive relationships that are every bit as healing and typiy MORE healing than a close relationship with a parent. At some point, we all have to give up the fantasy that life would be a bowl of cherries if mom and dad had been perfect. meet local women YanguimbudI sucked it up and went over to her house. She pretended as though nothing had happened. I did not bring my bf. My sister and I cooked dinner, made conversation, and opened some gifts, and went home. The truth is, I do pity my mother, and always have. Although the thought of spending "quality time" with her these days practiy turns my stomach, I feel bad for her, so I do what is expected of me, even though I resent it later. But the holidays can be a very lonely time, and I'm sure it is scary to grow old alone. Ugh. Bah humbug. Xmas, all. And thanks again for the input. wants for a date
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