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the whole "nature nurture" thing probably works together with sexuality as it does for a lot of other things (says the psychology in me.) I feel like I was born because I have been much exclusively attracted to women my whole life. I have a friend though, who has said that he is attracted to women occasionally but much more likely to be attracted to men and has said that had his general level of attraction to men and women been reversed, he would probably feel like being was a choice. So maybe that is part of the issue; of the people who feel like it's a choice have enough same-sex attraction that they acknowledge it, but not enough that they feel like it's necessary for their happiness to act on it while people who are almost exclusively attracted to the same sex feel like it's not a choice because it's too prominent to just choose not act on those feelings. horny woman in 39401And this sounds to me like it is one of those cases. Actually, not selfish at all, if you both want different things and he is using guilt to hold you back from what you want, then he is the one being selfish. If he strung you along suggesting he was headed towards marriage, only to say no once you were to emotionally involved to just up and leave, then he is using you. Up and leave, well get things in order for a soft landing first, if it is an attachment relationship, and it sounds like it is to you, you are going to need some healing. Find a safe place for yourself, be kind to yourself, do all the things you did not have time for because you spent that time on him. When you feel safe and strong, take your new bad self out and start dating again. Best of luck chinese woman
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