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You've supported her, listen to her talk about all the wrongs that the ex did to her. You bent over backwards and pulled this girl out of the mud. And now, she tells you that she let him stay over. Hurts bad. You are the rebound. It seems as if she's heading right back to the mud doesnt it? What should you do? Let her go. "But why should I do that, Ubel? Didn't you read my post? I did everything for this girl!" Except make her feel needed. Thats the advantage that the other guy has on you. Its not the money or anything. I understand that this is completely unfair to you, but confronting him and telling her not to him is a waste of time., normally, a guy like you, who listens to a girl cry about another guy, supports her wipes her tears and all normally guys like you receive the 'friends' speech. "So, what are you saying, Ubel I should be more of a to girls?" No, YOU overlooked the big red signifying that she wasnt over this guy. She's not over this guy, and that makes you a rebound. Be you, dont be a rebound. "But I dont want to lose her to him." Thats just it. You are a rebound. You never had her. Look at your post. Revamped said, "Wow, you seem to know an awful lot about him." So let her go. "Should I wait for her?" And be a second class? Hell no. Painful yes, but nowhere as painful as waiting for this girl to get over a bum. "But Ubel, I her." Even cant fix stupid. And she's defintely stupid. She knows he only brings trouble, and she does it anyway. Be sure to have a cool head when you speak to her. Dont burn any bridges because there is a that she awaken from her folly rather quickly when you exit the picture. would love for some car play tonightOK .divorced over a year (her wishes), separated for 3 years (traumatic separation, my fault). wonderful, house, pool, picket fence, volvo (i'm kidding about the volvo). We are both hard working professionals. No substance or health issues. We have been in this "mending" mode since the separation. Neither of us has dated other people. I am in an apt., paying support, the whole drill. Here's the bottom line. I have been very clear of my wishes to put this relationship back together and for us both to start living under the same roof again. We have been to couples counseling, wrote letters, phone s, dates, no dates, done everything except stand upside down and do the two step. She is still not able to say "yes, move back in and lets proceed". I am at the end of my rope and really feel it's time to start settling in to a new life. It's very scary to think of ending this but the writing appears to be on the wall. She tells me she loves me more than anyone in the world and to give her more time. I can't really hear that anymore, and believe it, as I remain the "outsider". I want sincere answers, not scolding. I am a good person, work hard, and did not plan on falling for another woman in this life. Here's the questions; Is there life after divorce? and/or Is it possible to have a thriving relationship with an ex after an affair? I am particularly interested in hearing from the females of the crowd. Again, I have been scolded and beat up already, I am looking for intelligent advice. together dating
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