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- people who have this discussion confabulate the extremely personal decision of whether or not to someone with the very public, very cerebral, highly academic argument for or against (usually against) marriage in general. And sure the arguments hold water, but I can't help but think that most of the time, maybe even all the time, people live in the public/cerebral/academic space so they don't have to have the uncomfortable conversation about commitment with their term partner or SO. Because check it out none of the arguments hold water. 1. Historical/political grounds don't really matter, because marriage has been everything from an institution of property to an arrangement of convenience to an arrangement made by family to a quick spontaneous trip to vegas to a life commitment made out of. Basiy, if you widen the history window large enough, you'll find a time in which marriage was much anything. So just because marriage was, at some point, something you wouldn't have done, doesn't really make it something you shouldn't do today, generally, if you have the right person. 2. Marriage doesn't make you stay, though. Marriage is simply a stated intention to stay. Divorce happens for a reason and that's because shit happens, things change. Does the presence of divorce diminish marriage? Not really. Lots of people don't get divorced and lots of divorces are for the best. 3. Well. Uh, duh. Of COURSE your partner's happiness and your happiness is important to you. You can be happily married, miserably single, and any point in between. There's no correlation between the two. So your arguments, while nice, really don't make sense as a justification to not get married. It really comes down to the personal, doesn't it? You don't want to that person for whatever reason. And that's okay. Just don't it something it's not a principled position. Personally, I like marriage. I like being able to introduce someone as my wife and have the person I'm talking to understand what that means: stated intended live partner, lover, mother to our, beneficiary, blah blah blah. Without that nice concise label of "spouse" I'd have to explain what she is to me to everyone I meet. And the term pair bonding arrangement is just too darn common not to have an institution for. adult social network in Hamillmy relationship to kink, and to pleasure, and to D/s, and to my Self (in all her permutations) has proven to be such a changeable thing makes it difficult to know how to zero in on any answers. so, to circle around, and perhaps your questions completely i was introduced to bdsm in my 20s by a woman who was also new-ish to it all, but had found a great deal of openness and acceptance in a sub-subculture of surprisingly female-friendly, principally male lifestylers. a male master agreed to mentor her training as a mistress, using me as her training tool. so i was subjected to everything from the basics to edge play as the ostensible submissive in the training equation. there was very, very, very little sexual stimulation (let alone release) involved in those scenarios the master was not about to put his hands on/in me, and he had no interest in watching my mistress-in-training handle me sexually in any way whatsoever. (in addition, i had a very narrow range of sexual activities/behaviors i was willing to even consider engaging ) and i submitted then, as i submit now, with a great deal of and a grateful giving over to the circumstances as they unfold upon me. i am an incredibly well-mannered sub, who feels most uncomplicatedly submissive when i am with a master/mistress/dom/me who is oriented to formal protocol for presentation, regulated speech, eye contact, manner of address, etc. the notion of bratting is completely foreign to me. in my earliest experiences, submission for me was most pleasurable and meaningful when it was about endurance, and the sense of accomplishment and confidence enduring yielded. cont'd horny babes
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