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An American in Amsterdam. no drama just friendship and sexand I do comprehend the distinctions. But there are a couple of points First of all, I think you are overemphasizing the importance of meeting someone in real life FIRST. While it's true that attraction or lack thereof can be acertained much more quickly that way, it's also true that other potential deal-breakers require MORE time to determine. So it's frequently a wash as to which actually winds up being faster. Secondly, you are missing my point about. The guy you're looking for is apparently a somewhat rare bird. Therefore in order to have a decent of finding this elusive creature, you're going to have to sort through a very large number of applicants to find even one good prospect. Quite honestly, 20 guys a month is nothing; one visit to a singles event let you meet 40 men in a single evening. Do that 4 times a month and now you have a decent of finding someone who comes close to your ideals, in a reasonable period of time. I've noticed that as people get older, they get, well, to put it bluntly; pickier. We use our past experience to realize what we do and don't want, and increasingly don't waste our time on folks who don't fit the. But what this means is that we have to change the way we meet people; the haphazard "I'll-just-run-into-them" method that worked all right when you're 22 and relatively indiscriminate doesn't operate so well when you're 42 and looking for a very specific type. So to borrow a phrase, if you want to catch fish, go where the fish are. much any sizable city has singles organizations, that are designed for the express purpose of introducing people. They range from the classy to the sleazy, so you have to check them out carefully and be selective, and, like shoppng for shoes, sometimes you have to try several before you find one that fits well. They tend to keep a low profile because some people still smirk at such things, but they're there and can be found if you do a little research. One final thing: you have to be prepared to devote real effort. Remember, this is potentially about a TERM RELATIONSHIP. So devote at LEAST as much effort as you would to, say, looking for a job that you plan to be at for the next 10 years. Otherwise, you tend to reap what you sow. Good luck! online dating site
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