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5 fulton muni bus ride lookin back I would like to answer your rock bottom question. She says she has hit rock bottom. I’m not sure I believe it. She still seems very dependent on me. She has yet to find employment. Until I her surviving on her own, I not believe her. She says she quit drinking in one sentence, but I hear her talk about “drinks”. Her messages sound drunk. To sum it up, she is probably skipping off the bottom at this point. How far she go up? Only time tell. I do not think that 2 days of communication is detrimental to the severance. Of course she weaseled her way in by asking for help with some legal matters she has to deal with. The “communication” started because I got upset with her that she s me out of the blue and doesn’t ask “is this a good time”. She expects me to jump. I told her that I had to euthanize the dog. I told her work is slow. The bills pile up. Life is different; you can’t “temporarily” live here because someone does now. My decision to change everything is checks and balance system. The wife cannot come back, period. Personally I’d rather not be the “friends with the ex type.” Those people always seem odd to me. Well almost all of them. I know very few that “friends” works or doesn’t seem odd. I have turned her down on meeting. I informed her to not just show up. I told her that I do not need a rollercoaster of emotions. The mistake I made was telling her I was lonely. Oops! Your side note/observation is good one. I really appreciate some people on here. Then I find that some, maybe unintentionally, transpose their bitter situation onto the OP and really don’t follow what anyone is saying. That would be similar to a therapist becoming a therapist because they are so messed up and trying to figure out their own head. Working with others not to help them, but to help themselves. Believe it or not, I am strong. I won’t be down by these people, but yes, I get really irritated by this type. You are right, it is more prevalent now. It is more so now than before because I’m sick of it. I have an in my head for intimacy. My question is, how do I turn it off? It’s really not as deep as some think. I know I am wounded. I know I don’t need to get intimate with these women. How do you turn off the subconscious urge to reach out?
swingers seeking teens go through the process yourself, etc, but I would say yes. You aren't abnormal. You feel how you feel, and this is what's normal for you. You're a round in a square hole, and you're going to feel a lot happier and more comfortable as one step at a time, you change your environment to reflect what's inside you. I know that my biggest worry when I ended my marriage was that I was irreparably harming my ex by doing so. But truthfully, what he wants is normal too. A good marriage mostly has sex, comfortable physical intimacy, and if you aren't feeling that for him, perhaps someone could.
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